Khmer Magazines 2014



Mum, is it true my baby sister came from Heaven? Yes, that's right. Well, I don't blame God for chucking her out.

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What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers ? Infantry !

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Doctor, doctor, my baby's swallowed a watch! Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time.

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How does a baby ghost cry? "Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!"

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How do you get a paper baby? Marry an old bag.

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When a baby is learning to eat, shouldn't he have an L-plate?

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A family of ducks were walking down the road when an 18-wheeler ran over all but 1 baby. Farther down the road a family of skunks were walking the other way when the same 18-wheeler ran over all but one baby. The duck and the skunk finally met each other and the duck said, "Excuse me, my mom died down the road. Would you tell me what I am?" "Well", said the skunk "You have webbed feet, a beak, and feathers. You must be a duck." "Thanks" said the duck; then the skunk said, "My mom died down the road too, will you tell me what I am?" "Well", said the duck, "Your black, your white, & your mom's dead, you must be O.J.'s kid"

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A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. I'm all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear." Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?" She answers, "Of course you are honey. I'm all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear." Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I all polar bear?" His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie. We're all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear. Why do you ask sweetie?" The baby polar bears replies, "Because I'm f****** freezing!"

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Cry Baby - by Liza Weeping

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Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food? He wanted something to get his teeth into.

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Fred: My mum's having a new baby. Drew: What's wrong with the old one?

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Dewey and Odell met on the Brownsville main street. "Say," said Dewey, "Ah hurd yew and yore wife is goin' ta night school ta take Spanish lessons. How cum?" "Uh huh," answered Odell. "We went and adopted us a little Mexican baby, and we wanna be able ta understand him when he gets old enough ta talk!"

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Why are babies always gurgling with joy? Because it's a nappy time.

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Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby sister? I'd much rather have a jelly baby.

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Mother: Why is there a strange baby in the crib? Daughter: You told me to change the baby.

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Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-sitter instead).

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Q: What's pink and red and can't turn round in a corridor? A: A baby with a javellin through its head.

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Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins" "That's funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'the three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets" The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty Thieves"!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Underwear. Underwear who? Underwear my baby is tonight?

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What do you get if you cross a mountain and a baby ? A cry for Alp !

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What do baby pythons play with? Rattle-snakes.

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Why did you drop the baby? Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see if he did.

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Why did the baby monster put his father in the freezer? Because he wanted frozen pop.

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Q: Where does a white baby go when it dies? A: Heaven Q: What does it get? A: Wings Q: What does it become? A: An angel Q: Where does a black baby go when it dies? A: Heaven Q: What does it get? A: Wings Q: What does it become? A: A Bat!

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Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world? She didn't push the pram - she pulled it.

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