| Knock Knock Who's there ! Baby ! Baby who ? Baby love, my baby love.... ! |
| How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rock-et. |
| Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food? He wanted something to get his teeth into. |
| What does a baby computer call his father? Data. |
| What are baby witches called? Halloweenies. |
| Mrs Brown: Who was that at the door? Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy. Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off. " |
| Why are babies always gurgling with joy? Because it's a nappy time. |
| Q: What's brown and in a baby's diaper? A: Michael Jackson's hand !! |
| Q: What's pink and red and can't turn round in a corridor? A: A baby with a javellin through its head. |
| Why did the baby monster put his father in the freezer? Because he wanted frozen pop. |
| Mother: Why is there a strange baby in the crib? Daughter: You told me to change the baby. |
| Q: How many baby sitters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, They don't make Pampers small enough. |
| What would you get if you crossed a new-born snake with a basketball? A bouncing baby boa. |
| Fred: My mum's having a new baby. Drew: What's wrong with the old one? |
| What is a baby bee? A little humbug. |
| Mum, are the Smiths very poor people? I don't think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask? Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin |
| Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit's new baby? She thought babies should be pink, so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller. |
| How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake? It has a rattle. |
| Knock knock. Who's there? Baby Owl. Baby Owl who? Baby Owl see you later, baby not. |
| How did the witch almost lose her baby? She didn't take it far enough into the woods. |
| Doctor, doctor, my baby's swallowed a watch! Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time. |
| When a baby is learning to eat, shouldn't he have an L-plate? |
| Who is bigger - Mrs Bigger or Mrs Bigger's baby? Mrs Bigger's baby, because he's a little Bigger. |
| Little Johnny 's next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny's parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little Johnny before going to the neighbors. He said "Now, son... that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or I am really going to spank you when we get back home." "I promise not to mention his ears at all" said Little Johnny. At the neighbors home, Little Johnny leaned over in the crib and touched the baby's hand He looked at it's mother and said "Oh What a Beautiful little baby". The mother said "Thank you very much, Little Johnny." He then said, "this baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes.... Did his doctor say that he can see good?" The Mother said "why, yes Johnny... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision. Little Johnny said "well, its a darn good thing, cause he sure couldn't wear glasses!!! |
| What was the policeman's baby's first words ? Hallo, Hallo, Hallo ! |
