Khmer Magazines 2015



My sister's a really bad driver. What makes you say that? Every time she goes out in the car, Dad puts a glass panel in the floor so that she can see who she's run over.

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Motorist: Does a deer have a horn? Police Officer: No, a deer has two horns. Motorist: Then it must have been a car that ran over my uncle.

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Policeman: Are you going to a fire? Motorist: No, I'm trying to prevent one. That's what my boss said would happen if I were late again.

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When I get real bored, I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

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One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that, daddy." He replied, "How'd you know?" The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'ASSHOLE!' afterwards!"

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After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks, and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son. I brought my selection - a baseball bat - to the cash register. "Cash or charge?" the clerk asked. "Cash," I snapped. Then, apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau." "Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly. "Or are you going back there?"

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Policeman: Didn't you see the signs with the speed limit? Driver: I thought they were just suggestions.

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Policeman: Didn't you hear my siren? Motorist: Sure, that's why I sped up.

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher? One minds the train, the other trains the mind.

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While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3." They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4." "What do you think?" one asked the other. The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. "Not a cop in sight. Let's take a chance!"

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Did you hear about the girl who was so keen on road safety that she always wore white at night ? Last Winter she was knocked down by a snow plough

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What happens when a frog's car breaks down? It gets toad away..

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"Where's the car?" asked Professor Delbert's wife when he got home. "Did I take it out?" "Yes, you drove it to school this morning." "I suppose you're right, my dear. I remember now that after I got out, I turned to thank the man who gave me a lift and wondered where he'd gone."

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Learner driver: What happens when everything's coming your way? Instructor: You're in the wrong lane.

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A San Francisco motorist following a taillight in a dense fog crashed into the car ahead of him when it stopped suddenly. "Why didn't you let me know you were going to stop?" he yelled into the mist. "Why should I?" came a voice out of the fog. "I'm in my own garage!"

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Why is it not safe to doze on trains? Because they run over sleepers.

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Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home. Ghost: Why don't you take a train. Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.

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Policeman: Didn't you hear me whistle at you? Woman Driver: Sure, but I don't flirt when I drive.

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If an electric train travels 90 miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing from the north, in which direction is the smoke blowing? There is no smoke from an electric train!

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Q: What did the first stoplight say to the second stoplight? A: Don't look I'm changing!!

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Auntie Maud bought herself a new rear-engine European car. She took an old friend for a drive, but after only half a mile the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. "Oh. Maud," said her friend, "you've lost your engine!" "Never mind, dear," said auntie. "I've got a spare one in the trunk."

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Policeman: Why didn't you obey that stop sign? Driver: I don't believe everything I read.

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What do you get if you cross a Rolls Royce with a vampire? A monster that attacks expensive cars and sucks out their gas tanks.

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What is an autobiography? The life story of an automobile.

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Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? A: Your car.

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