Khmer Magazines 2015



An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, "Oy vey! What a wreck!" The priest asks him, "Are you all right, Rabbi?" The Rabbi responds, "Just a little shaken." The priest pulls a flask of whiskey from his coat and says, "Here, drink some of this it will calm your nerves." The Rabbi takes the flask and drinks it down and says, "Well, what are we going to tell the police?" "Well," the priest says, "I don't know what your aft' to be tellin' them. But I'll be tellin' them I wasn't the one drinkin'."

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Policeman: Why were you speeding? Motorist: I was trying to get away from the crime scene.

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Policeman: Why did you lead me on a high-speed chase? Motorist: Because you'd catch me on a slow one.

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Policeman: How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets? Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.

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Policeman: Why did you stop your car, get out, and yell "coward" at the traffic signal? Motorist: The light just turned yellow.

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Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian customer agent stops them and tells them: "Itsa illegal to putta fiva people ina Quattro." "What do you mean it's illegal?" asked the Englishmen. "Quattro means four," replies the Italian official. "Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Englishmen says disbelievingly. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons." "You can'ta pulla thata one ona me," replies the Italian customs agent."Quattro means four. You hava fiva people ina your car and you are therefore breakin'a the law". The Englishmen reply angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over We want to speak to someone with more intelligence!" "Sorry," responds the Italian official, "he can'ta come"."He's a busy with two guys in a Uno".

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Learner driver: What happens when everything's coming your way? Instructor: You're in the wrong lane.

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Personally, I like to stay and read the credits. When the last scene of Titanic faded to black and people began rushing for the exits, I shouted: "Quick! There are only enough cars in the parking lot for half of us!"

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What did one car muffler say to the other car muffler? "Am I exhausted!"

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A young man comes home and says "Dad, just got my driver's license and would like to use the family car." Father replies, :"O.K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we'll see." Well, several months pass and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand. "Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I've been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?" Father replies, "That's all true, but son you didn't cut your hair." Son says, "But, dad, Jesus had long hair." Father replies, "Yes, son, you're perfectly right. And he walked everywhere he went."

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A man was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had anything to say in his defense. "They shouldn't put up such misleading notices," said the man. "It said FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

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What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker? Hop in.

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Policeman: Why didn't you stop at that red light? Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

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My sister's a really bad driver. What makes you say that? Every time she goes out in the car, Dad puts a glass panel in the floor so that she can see who she's run over.

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Motorist: Does a deer have a horn? Police Officer: No, a deer has two horns. Motorist: Then it must have been a car that ran over my uncle.

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Policeman: Are you going to a fire? Motorist: No, I'm trying to prevent one. That's what my boss said would happen if I were late again.

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When I get real bored, I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

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One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that, daddy." He replied, "How'd you know?" The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'ASSHOLE!' afterwards!"

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After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks, and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son. I brought my selection - a baseball bat - to the cash register. "Cash or charge?" the clerk asked. "Cash," I snapped. Then, apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau." "Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly. "Or are you going back there?"

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Policeman: Didn't you see the signs with the speed limit? Driver: I thought they were just suggestions.

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Policeman: Didn't you hear my siren? Motorist: Sure, that's why I sped up.

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher? One minds the train, the other trains the mind.

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While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3." They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4." "What do you think?" one asked the other. The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. "Not a cop in sight. Let's take a chance!"

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Did you hear about the girl who was so keen on road safety that she always wore white at night ? Last Winter she was knocked down by a snow plough

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What happens when a frog's car breaks down? It gets toad away..

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