Khmer Magazines 2014



What is an autograph? A chart which shows car sales.

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What is the best thing to take when you're run over? The number of the car that hit you.

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Policeman: Why are you driving that car in circles? Driver: I was just going for a little spin.

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Where do ghost trains stop? At devil crossings.

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Learner driver: What happens when everything's coming your way? Instructor: You're in the wrong lane.

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What did the man put on his car when the weather was cold? An extra muffler.

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Brother: How do you top a car ? Sister: Tep on the brake, tupid.

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What do you call a pretend railway ? A play station !

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Policeman: What do you think you're doing parking your car there? Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says "Safety Zone."

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A motorist ran into a shop. "Do you own a black and white cat?" he asked. "No," replied the manager. "Oh dear," said the motorist, "I must have run over a nun."

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My sister's a really bad driver. What makes you say that? Every time she goes out in the car, Dad puts a glass panel in the floor so that she can see who she's run over.

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Auntie Gladys bought herself a new rear-engine continental car. She took an old friend for a spin, but after only half a mile, the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. 'Oh, Gladys,' said her friend, 'you've lost your engine!' 'Never mind dear,' said auntie. 'I've got a spare one in the trunk.'

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Did you ever see a country boy in New York whistle for a cab? He puts two fingers in his mouth and hollers, "Taxi!"

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"Where's the car?" asked Professor Delbert's wife when he got home. "Did I take it out?" "Yes, you drove it to school this morning." "I suppose you're right, my dear. I remember now that after I got out, I turned to thank the man who gave me a lift and wondered where he'd gone."

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Which snakes are found on cars? Windscreen vipers.

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A man was fed up of having his car broken into and having his radio stolen he decided he would remove it when he parked his car he also left a note saying there is no point in breaking in my car as there is nothing to steal. When he returned to his car it had been broken into again and there was a new note where his had left his, saying just checking.!

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Jill's car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls. "What happened this time?" he asked. "My brakes went out," Jill said. "Can you come to get me?" "Where are you?" John asked. "I'm in the drugstore," Jill responded. "And where's the car?" John asked. Jill replied, "It's in here with me."

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Two cab drivers met. "Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?" "Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."

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What do you get if you cross a Rolls Royce with a vampire? A monster that attacks expensive cars and sucks out their gas tanks.

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Policeman: Why didn't you stop at that red light? Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

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Policeman: Didn't you see that stop sign? Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic.

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Peter Ludwig, a caver from Austria who is appalled by American driving habits, offers the following advice: The probability of being involved in a traffic accident is directly proportional to time spent on the road. Driving fast decreases one's exposure. One third of traffic accidents are caused by drunk drivers; two thirds are caused by non-drunk drivers. Therefore, the safest way to drive is drunk and VERY fast.

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What song does a car radio play? A cartoon (car, tune).

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Policeman: Why were you speeding? Driver: I didn't want to be late for my trial.

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Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ? They were both driving their cars at the time !

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