| What do you call the Scottish dentist ? Phil McCavity ! |
| What is a dentist's office? A filling station. |
| "Open wider." requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good God !" he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen - the biggest cavity I've ever seen." "OK Doc !" replied the patient. "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice." "I didn't !" said the dentist. "That was the echo." |
| Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved. Assistant: Why don't you marry her? Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient. |
| Patient: Doc, what should I do with all the gold and silver in my mouth? Dentist: Don't smile in a bad neighborhood. |
| "Did you get your money?" ask the wife of the dentist who had just return from the delinquent patient's home. "Not a cent," growled the dentist, "and worse than that, he insulted me, and gnashed my teeth at me!" |
| Pardon me for a moment, please," said the dentist to the victim, "but before beginning this work I must have my drill." "Good heavens, man!" exclaimed the patient irritably. "Can't you pull a tooth without a rehearsal?" |
| How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash. |
| Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's $90.00. Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like. |
| At what time do most people go to the dentist? At tooth-hurty (2:30). |
| What did the dentist see at the North Pole?...A molar bear |
| While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling. Nodding to me, she said, "Thank goodness my work is completed. I'm so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who's so gentle and understanding too." When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor. He laughed and explained, "Oh, that was just my Mother." |
| Young Charlie to dentist's sexy chariside assistant "Aha ! Are you the lady orthodontist ?". The lady replied "No, but I'll straighten anyone's teeth " |
| A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible." "You're a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is." The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear." |
| What game did the dentist play when she was a child?...Caps and robbers |
| A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game. |
| What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have VD? Having your dentist tell you. |
| A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn't nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth. The dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet." |
| Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out. After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?" "Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!" "What do you brush with?" asked the dentist, "Preparation H," said the redneck. |
| Dentist to parsimonious patient "No, we give no discount for empty spaces when cleaning and polishing teeth Mrs. Borde!" |
| Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?...He was already taking out a tooth |
| What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?...He braces himself |
| What was the dentist doing in Panama?...Looking for the Root Canal |
| Monster: Doctor, doctor, I'm a blood-sucking monster and I keep needing to eat doctors. Doctor: Oh what a shame. I'm a dentist. |
| What do you call a dentist in the army ? A drill sergeant ! |
