Khmer Magazines 2015



Q: What's the motto of the Polish Solidarity Union? A: Every man for himself.

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Q: What would you call an Arab who owns a harem of cows? A: A milk sheik!

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An old Native American wanted a loan for $500. He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, "What are you going to do with the money?" "Take jewelry to city and sell it," said the old man. "What have you got for collateral?" queried the banker, going strictly by the book. "Don't know of collateral." "Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?" "Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup." The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?" "Yes, I have a horse." "How old is it?" "I don't know; it has no teeth." Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan. Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here's the money to pay loan," he said, handing the entire amount including interest. "What are you going to do with the rest of that money?" "Put it in my pocket." "Why don't you deposit it in my bank?" he asked. "I don't know of deposit." "Well, you put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it." The old Indian leaned across the desk, looking suspiciously at the banker, and asked, "What you got for collateral?"

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Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just *fine*.

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Q: Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side? A: So the cops can find the handles.

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Q: How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.

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Q: What do you call an Inibrian who has been buried for 1000 years? A: Peat!!!

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Have you heard about the latest Polish parachute? It opens on impact.

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Q: Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children? A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

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These two newfies are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over and asks him why he is throwing half of the nails away. He replies, "Those ones were pointed on the wrong end." The buddy gets exasperated and says "You idiot, those nails are for the other side of the house!"

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Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? A: Turn off the carousel.

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What do you call an intelligent man in America? A tourist.

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What is the difference between Russian Optimist, Pessimist and Realist? An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

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Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. "Oy, Abraham, I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse". "Ssh!" hisses the other, "It's not till next week".

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Q: What do you get when you cross and Chinese and a Mexican man? A: A car thief who can't drive!

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Q: Why did the Canadian cross the road? A: He saw some American do it on TV.

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These two Scottish characters are chatting. One of them then pulls out an expensive looking pocket watch from his pocket to check the time. "That's a fine watch you got there!" says the other. "Yeah it is, isn't it? I got it from my grandfather," says the guy with the watch. "Really?" "Yeah, he sold it to me on his death bed."

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Q: What's delaying the Polish space program? A: Development of a working match.

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What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving? Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

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Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $58,000 cars out in the driveway.

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An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food. The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza. Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza. The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, ''What the heck did you put on this pizza?'' The delivery man bows deeply and says, ''We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only.''

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Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Twelve. Four to form a Parliamentary study committee to decide how to solve the problem, one Francophone to complain that I didn't translate this joke into French, one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of Native Canadians have been overlooked, one woman from the National Action Committee On the Status Of Women to say that women have been underrepresented in the process, one to go over the border to the Niagara Falls Factory Outlet Mall and buy a new bulb and not pay duty on it on the way back, one to actually screw it in, one to collect taxes on the whole procedure so the government can afford it, one to buy a case of Molson for everybody to drink, and one to drop the puck.

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Q: Two men drive into a car wash. Which one is the Irishman? A: The one on the motorbike.

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Q: How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb? A: Scotsmen don't change light bulbs, it's cheaper to sit in the dark

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Two Scots, father and son, go to America. - Daddy, when we'll arrive? - Shut up and swim.

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