Khmer Magazines 2014



A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman were sitting in a pub discussing the best pubs around. The Englishman says, ''There's a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every that you buy.'' The Scot is not impressed and says, ''That's nothing! In the Highlands every time you buy a drink the landlord buys you five.'' At this point the Englishman is fairly impressed. The Irishman, totally unimpressed, says ''That's nothing. In Dublin there's this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all night, and then when the bar shuts he takes you into a room and makes love to you.'' The Scot and Englishman are well impressed and ask if the Irishman goes there a lot. He replies ''No, but my sister told me about it.''

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Q:What should Iraq get for its air defense system? A:A refund.

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A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence". The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"

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Q: How many Serbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two-one to shoot the old bulb out and one to screw the new one in.

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An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (french fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed. Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water? demanded the Grand Emir. A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One, stammered the wretched Abdul, white man sit on well.

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How does every ethnic joke start? By looking over your shoulder.

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Q: Why do Polish hate Cauchy's dog? (hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem) A: Because it leaves residues at each Pole.

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A tourist from the United States of America is at a resturant in Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the best country in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says, "Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in front of the White House in Washington D.C. and yell 'President Clinton is a bastard!' and nothing would be done to me." The Cuban waiter replies, "We have that same freedom in Cuba. I could stand in front of El Capital and yell the same thing and nothing would be done to me too!"

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What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico? "Attention K-Mart shoppers..."

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Q:What's the fastest way to end an Iraqi bingo game? A:Call B52

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Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you." "Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."

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Q: What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored? A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get stoned.

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Canada, in view of recent events, will be changing the maple leaf on the flag to a marijuana plant. That way, the people of Quebec will have good reason to burn the flag.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? They all gather around their cash registers and sing "What a Friend We Have In Jesus..."

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Q: What's the slowest thing in the world? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.

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What do you get when you cross a Cuban and a Pollock? Ricky Retardo

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What language do they speak in Cuba ? Cubic !

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They say that it's tough to learn Bosnian because it has seven verb tenses: six past, one present, and no future.

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Why did the mexicans fight so hard for the alamo? They wanted 4 clean walls to spray paint.

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Why does the new Polish Navy have glass bottomed boats? So they can see the old Polish Navy!

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An Irishman joined the American Air Force and was making his first parachute jump. The instructor said, "When you jump out of the plane, shout Geronimo and pull the ripcord." When the Irishman woke up in hospital a few days later the first thing he said was, "What was the name of that Indian again?"

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Q: What's the highest position in the Greek Navy? A: Rear Admiral!

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Q: Why do Polish names end in "ski" ? A: Because they can't spell tobbagan.

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There were three Aggies; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide. The guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The crane operator then lowered the pole to the ground and repsitioned to pick up another pole. This went on several times when the foreman came over and asked why they couldn't measure the poles while they were laying on the ground? The Aggies replied, "we need to know how tall the poles are, not how long".

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Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Twelve. Four to form a Parliamentary study committee to decide how to solve the problem, one Francophone to complain that I didn't translate this joke into French, one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of Native Canadians have been overlooked, one woman from the National Action Committee On the Status Of Women to say that women have been underrepresented in the process, one to go over the border to the Niagara Falls Factory Outlet Mall and buy a new bulb and not pay duty on it on the way back, one to actually screw it in, one to collect taxes on the whole procedure so the government can afford it, one to buy a case of Molson for everybody to drink, and one to drop the puck.

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