Khmer Magazines 2014



What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? - Quattro Sink-o

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What language do they speak in Cuba ? Cubic !

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Two Newfies landed themselves a job at a saw mill. Just before morning the one yelled, "Mick! I lost me finger!" "Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?" "I just touched this big spinning thing here... No! There goes another one!"

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Q: How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but he'll tell everybody.

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Why does the new Polish Navy have glass bottomed boats? So they can see the old Polish Navy!

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Q: How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb? A: That's a military secret.

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What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving? Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

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Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus? A: He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says, "Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"

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Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "are there any Jews in China?" "I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?" When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?" "I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No, Chinese Jews." "Are you sure?" Al asked. "I will check again, sir," the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere." When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews." "Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews." "Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chin ese Jews."

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An Irishman joined the American Air Force and was making his first parachute jump. The instructor said, "When you jump out of the plane, shout Geronimo and pull the ripcord." When the Irishman woke up in hospital a few days later the first thing he said was, "What was the name of that Indian again?"

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What do you call a man with a kilt over his head ? Scott !

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Once there were two chinese gentlemen named Mr. Ho and Mr. Chen. They were neighbors but happened to be very competitive. One day Mr. Ho decided to start a shoe business, he named his store WE DO SHOE. now Mr. Chen decided he must compete with Mr. Ho, so he started a shoe business right next door to Mr. Ho's store and he named it SHOE DO WE.

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Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.

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Scorcher Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent's hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Have I got all ye say there?" The agent said, "Certainly ye have...Why d'ye ask?" Replied Murphy, "Cancel the sale...'tis too good to part with."

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Q: How many Italian-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dunno exactly, but my brothers girlfriends fathers boss secretary's sister's next door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Seargant-of-Arms nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.

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Q: You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Polak is there? A: He's the one with a duck.

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Q: How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home? A: They put parking meters on the roof!

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where does saddam hussein keep his c.d collection? In Iraq (a rack)

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Q: What happened to the Indian who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his teapea.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD? A: A trip to Israel.

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Q: Why do Polish names end in "ski" ? A: Because they can't spell tobbagan.

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Q: Why did the eskimo wash his clothes in Tide? A: Because it was too cold outside.

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A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman were sitting in a pub discussing the best pubs around. The Englishman says, ''There's a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every that you buy.'' The Scot is not impressed and says, ''That's nothing! In the Highlands every time you buy a drink the landlord buys you five.'' At this point the Englishman is fairly impressed. The Irishman, totally unimpressed, says ''That's nothing. In Dublin there's this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all night, and then when the bar shuts he takes you into a room and makes love to you.'' The Scot and Englishman are well impressed and ask if the Irishman goes there a lot. He replies ''No, but my sister told me about it.''

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Q:What should Iraq get for its air defense system? A:A refund.

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A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence". The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"

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