Khmer Magazines 2014



Why is a fish easy to weigh ? Because it has its own scales !

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Q. Where do fish sleep? A. In a river bed

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Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait. The first priest got up and walk across the water to get some more bait. After 2 hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait...so he got up and walk across the water. After 3 hours of fishing they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom. The first priest turned to the second priest and asked, "Should we have told him where the rocks were? "

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Why are fish so smart? They are always in schools!

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What's the difference between an angler and a dunce? One baits his hooks while the other hates his books.

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If you're fishing on ice, you should never tell a joke on ice. WHY??? The ice will crack up!

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What fish only swims at night ? A starfish !

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Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside !

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Why are fish so gullible? They fall for things hook, line and sinker!

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Two parrots are sitting on a perch. The first one says to the other "can you smell fish?".

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A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell and hot on his heels came the game warden. After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped. With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..."

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"What's the biggest fish you ever caught?" "That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...." "That's not so big!" "Between the eyes?"

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Q:what did the fish say when he hit the concrete wall? A:Damn

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Q. What is the difference between a fish and a piano? A. You can't tuna fish.

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To whom do fish go to borrow money ? The loan shark !

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Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!" "That bad, huh" "She did everything wrong! She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!"

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What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment ? A flat fish !

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How do the fish get to school ? By octobus !

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What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much ? A beer-a-cuda !

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How do fish go into business ? The start on a small scale !

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What fish do road-menders use ? Pneumatic krill !

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What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings ? A fish tank !

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A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes." "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."

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A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish." "Pet fish?!" the warden replied. "Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home." "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works." "O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious. The man poured the fish in to the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?" "Well, what?" the man respond ed. "When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted. "Call who back?" the man asked. "The FISH" "What fish?" the man asked.

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What fish sounds like a telephone? Herring, herring...herring, herring...herring, herring.

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