| How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level. |
| Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler. |
| Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated into my room! Ghost: Don't worry, ma'am, I'm just passing through. |
| Where does a ghost refuel his Porsche? At a ghastly station. |
| What Central American country has the most spooks? Ghosta Rica! |
| What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall? The nightmayor. |
| What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost. Fasten your sheet belt. |
| What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost? Spook when you're spooken to. |
| Did you hear about the ghost who enjoyed doing housework? He used to go round with the oooo-ver. |
| Student l: "Did you know that ghosts are protected by the Constitution?" Student 2: "They are?" Student 1: "Sure. It's in the Bill of Frights!" |
| Why did the ghost go to the funfair. He wanted to go on the rollerghoster. |
| What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips? Snacks that go crunch in the night. |
| Ghost: Are you coming to my party? Spook: Where is it? Ghost: In the morgue - you know what they say, the morgue the merrier. |
| A man was staying in a big old house and in the middle of the night he met a ghost. The ghost said, "I have been walking these corridors for 300 years." The man said, "in that case, can you tell me the way to the toilet?" |
| What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?- They boo-kle their seatbelts |
| How did the bootician style the ghost's hair? With a scare dryer! |
| What do ghosts like about riding horses? Ghoulloping. |
| Did you hear about the sick ghost? He had oooooo-ping cough. |
| This girl wanted to marry a ghost. I can't think what possessed her. |
| Did you hear about the ghost who went on safari? He was a big-game haunter! |
| What do ghosts watch if they want to relax? Skelly-vision! |
| How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living? By appearing in television spooktaculars. |
| What did the little ghost eat for lunch? A booloney sandwich! |
| What did one ghost say to another? I'm sorry, but I just don't believe in people. |
| What are pupils at ghost schools called? Ghoulboys and ghoulgirls. |
