advertisements

Aviation jokes

An airplane pilot dies at the controls.

He goes to Hell. The devil takes him to the 'newly arrived' area.

There are three doors, marked 1, 2, and 3. The devil tells the pilot
that
he is going to get to choose his own hell, but first, the devil
has to
take care of something first, and disappears.

The
curious pilot looks behind door number one. He sees a pilot going

through flight checks for all eternity. He looks behind door number two,

and he sees a pilot that forever finds himself trying to resolve

emergency situations. He looks behind the last door, and sees a Captain
being
waited on hand and foot by scantily-clad
stewardesses.

The devil returns just as the pilot gets back to his waiting position.

He offers the pilot a choice of door number one or two. The pilot
says,
"I wanted door number three!"
"Sorry," replies the devil,
"that's 'flight attendant's
hell'."

 

When do burgers quit their jobs? The day they decide to meat LOAF!

Read more!

Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia? A: His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict.

Read more!

advertisements
advertisements

Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous. You know, this is my first extraction. Young dentist: Don't worry, it's my first extraction too.

Read more!

What is a collie puppy's favorite toy? A chew-chew train!

Read more!

Why did the dog jump into the sea? He wanted to chase the catfish!

Read more!

What food is good for the brain? Noodle soup.

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Blair ! Blair who ? Blair play !

Read more!

The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

Read more!

Do you know the time ? No, we haven't met yet !

Read more!

Why was the lion-tamer fined ? He parked on a yellow lion !

Read more!

CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig shake? WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.

Read more!

A blonde opened a hair salon next to a graveyard and named it ''Curl Up and Dye.''

Read more!

Parachute Jumping by Hugo Furst

Read more!

Why is it so cold at Christmas? It's in Decembrrrrr.

Read more!

What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.

Read more!

A fireman and policeman died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning that if they had even one bad thought their wings would fall off. Well, everything went well for some time then one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady. As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off. When he bent over to pick them up the policemans wings fell off.

Read more!

What will santa bring your fish this christmas? A scale letrix!

Read more!

Doctor, doctor, can you give me something for my baldness? How about a few pounds of pig manure? Will that cure my baldness? No, but with that on your head no one will come near enough to notice you're bald.

Read more!

What famous chiropodist ruled England ? William the Corn-cutter!

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Arbus ! Arbus who ? Arbus leaves in 5 minutes ?

Read more!