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Baby jokes

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Underwear.

Underwear who?
Underwear my baby is tonight?

 

The school teacher was furious when Brad knocked him down with his new bicycle in the school yard. "Don't you know how to ride that yet?" he roared. "Oh yes!" shouted Brad over his shoulder. "It's the bell I can't work yet.

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I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with. I dyed my hair !

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Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail? A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

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Peek-a-Boo! by I. C. Hugh

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Young lady to father "Daddy, when I grow up shall I become a heart-doctor or a tooth-doctor " "Dentist" "Why father ?" "We have only one heart, but 32 teeth!"

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Q: Why do blondes always drink with straws? A: Practice.

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There was a huge fire at a big city soda factory. The city company was losing ground and the owner was frantic. He told the fire department that he needed a secret formula in the safe that was in the center of the blaze, and he would give 10,000 dollars to the department that got the formula. An hour later no ground was gained and a mutual aid call was put out. When 12 departments couldn't subdue the blaze the owner saw this he raised the reward to 100,000 dollars. Suddenly a small town department drove their truck right into the fire and emerged 10 minutes later with the formula. When asked what they would do with the money one said, "Get them damn brakes fixed we figure."

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Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

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What is a horses favourite kind of party? A stall ball.

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Q. What did dela wear?(Delaware) A. Her New Jersey

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Did you hear about the stupid water-polo player? His horse drowned . . .

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Why are mosquitoes annoying? Because they get under your skin.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Chloe ! Chloe who ? Chloe's Encounters of the Third Kind !

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How can you double your money? Look at it in a mirror.

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Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

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A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

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Why is an old car like a baby playing? Because it goes with a rattle.

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What animals are poor dancers? Four-legged ones, because they have two left feet.

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A man was sitting in the electric chair. The executioner said, "Look, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to throw the switch in a minute." The man said, "Do me a favor and throw it out the window!"

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My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.

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