Bird jokes
Why did the rooster run away ?
He was chicken
!
| Teacher: What's a robin? Fred: A bird that steals, ma'am. |
| Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once. Q: What's the Blonde's cheer? A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..." |
| One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The blonde looked up and said, "Where?" |
| Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She didn't suit his taste! |
| A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said. Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and he was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor." The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him. About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product pro blems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded. After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, "Prepare three envelopes." |
| What does Father Christmas call that reindeer with no eyes? No-eyed-deer! |
| What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk! |
| What kind of party do prisoners in jail like most of all. A going-away party. |
| What kind of dance do buns do? Abundance. |
| What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A Lassie who plays brassie! |
| What game do 18 dogs like to play during the summer? Woofleball |
| Barber: Your hair is getting grey, Sir. Customer: I'm not surprised - hurry up, will you? |
| Is there a mouse in the house ? No, but there's a moose on the loose ! |
| Polceman: "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lock you up for the night." Man: "What's the charge?" Polceman: "Oh, there's no charge. It's all part of the service. |
| Did you hear about the cannibal who went vegetarian? He couldn't stop eating swedes. |
| How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eye |
| Q: How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry? A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel down a bit. |
| What TV game show do fish like best? Name that tuna! |
| What do naked fish play with ? Bare-a-cudas ! |
| What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party? Hallowieners! |
