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Dentist jokes

A patient came to
his dentist with problems
with his teeth.

Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I
do?

Dentist: Wear a brown tie!

 

Strong Winds by Gail Force

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Did you hear about the cannibal who went vegetarian? He couldn't stop eating swedes.

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Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and gave him $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. The loan officer checked the records and told him, "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest." The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away. "Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow? The man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

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Policeman: Why didn't you stop at that red light? Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

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The teacher asked Simon to say his name backwards. "No mis" he replied

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If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you!

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I just sent my first e-mail. Kongratulations!

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Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!

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One idiot said to the other, "You know, there are really only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.

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You're a big Internet fan aren't you? Yes - it's becoming a habit!

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Arnold ! Arnold who ? Arnold friend of yours is a friend of mine !

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A man who thinks he's George Washington has been seeing a psychiatrist. He finishes up one session by telling him, "Tomorrow, we'll cross the Delaware and surprise them when they least expect it." As soon as he's gone, the psychiatrist picks up the phone and says, "King George, this is Benedict Arnold. I have the plans."

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There were three American pilots captured by Germans in WWII. The Germans thought up a way to make the pilots crack and tell what they knew. They made them stand at attention, turn their heads from side to side and say, "Tick - Tock" over and over. After about three hours, the first pilot cracked and started telling all he knew, signing everything they put in front of him. An hour later, the second pilot cracked and started confessing to things that he didn't even do. The third pilot was fighting hard not to crack. He was about half-way cracked. He was turning his head to one side only and saying, "Tick...Tick...Tick..." The German officer in charge went up to him and said, "You thinks you iss so schmart! But I'm telling you dot vee haf vays to make you TOCK!"

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Did you hear about the monster who had twelve arms and no legs? He was all fingers and thumbs.

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Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.

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When is a bicycle not a bicycle? When it turns into a driveway.

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Round the Mountain by Sheelagh B. Cummin

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Why was the cat so small ? Because it only ate condensed milk !

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Dentist: "You don't need to open your mouth any wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside."

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Q: Why don't men fake orgasm? A: Coz no man would pull those faces on purpose.

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