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Dentist jokes

A patient came to
his dentist with problems
with his teeth.

Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I
do?

Dentist: Wear a brown tie!

 

Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!

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Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.

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A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. 'What's the matter?' she asked. 'It's my birthday!' he hollered. 'And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there's to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards. . .' and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard. 'But that's lovely,' said the old lady. 'Why are you crying?' 'Because I'm lost!'

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade!

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I'm Absolutely Certain by R. U. Sure

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On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is - flowers!" "That's right!" said the boy, "but how did you know?" "Just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is - a box of candy!" "That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl. "Just a lucky guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?" The boy replied, "A puppy!"

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What kind of robbery is not dangerous? A safe robbery.

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What does a bee say before it stings you ? This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you !

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QUESTION: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? ANSWER: Milk and honey.

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Q. What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it.

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What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger? The bogeyman.

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What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume? He was convicted of fragrancy.

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Why did the boy become an astronaut? Because he was told he was no earthly good.

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What is a goal keepers favourite snack ? Beans on post !

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If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers!

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What is the Easter Bunny's favourite state capital? Albunny, New York!

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Q: Why don't blondes like buttered toast? A: They can't figure out which side the butter goes on.

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What is the best thing to take when you're run over? The number of the car that hit you.

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What kind of thief steals meat? A hamburglar.

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What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal ? That hit the spots !

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