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Dentist jokes

"I came in to
make an appointment with the
dentist." said the man to the receptionist.

"I'm sorry sir."
she replied. "He's out right now, but..."

"Thank you,"
interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient.
"When will he be out
again ?"

 

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

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Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)

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Which of our meaty friends are into astrology? Those that are born under the sign of the Ham!

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Why was the burger thrown out of the Army? He couldn't pass mustard! (muster)

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Q: What's Clinton doing to make Americans happy? A: If you've paid your tax bill and have enough money left to feed your family--you're happy.

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I was so sorry to hear you buried your mother last week. Well, we had to, you know, she was dead.

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A tourist from the United States of America is at a resturant in Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the best country in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says, "Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in front of the White House in Washington D.C. and yell 'President Clinton is a bastard!' and nothing would be done to me." The Cuban waiter replies, "We have that same freedom in Cuba. I could stand in front of El Capital and yell the same thing and nothing would be done to me too!"

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What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico? "Attention K-Mart shoppers..."

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How did the toad die ? He simply croaked !

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A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?" He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?" The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts." "Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means." The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."

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Q: How is a marriage like a hot bath? A: Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

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Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

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"No, no, no!" said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. "I cannot see you today!" "That's fine," said the salesman, "I'm selling spectacles."

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Why did the vampire have pedestrian eyes? They looked both ways before they crossed.

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yo mama so nasty... cows with mad cow disease run from her..

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Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue? Because they can't dress themselves.

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A math student who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle. "Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know. "It's a `thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..." "Tell us!" "Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!'" One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"

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As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, "Have you just gotten out of prison?" "Yeah," the guy replied. "How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have sex from the rear?" "Partly." She said. "But more because when we finished, you ran around in front of me, bent over, and shouted, 'YOUR TURN.'"

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Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

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Why is it called a "litter" of puppies ? Because they mess up the whole house !

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