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Dentist jokes

As the judge said to the dentist: Do you

swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the

tooth?

 

Q: How many Italian-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dunno exactly, but my brothers girlfriends fathers boss secretary's sister's next door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Seargant-of-Arms nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.

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What are ants called when they run away very fast to get married? Ant-elopers.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Cassie ! Cassie who ? Cassie the forest for the trees !

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Q: Dad, why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage? A: Because, son, it is more difficult to hit a moving target.

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Why do pigs never recover from illness ? Because you have to kill them before you cure them !

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Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians." Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians win.

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Rabbit: I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I'm all out of carrots. What should I do? Friend: Don't worry; be hoppy!

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Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.

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What's a snakes favourite flower ? Coily-flowers !

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Who went into a witche's den and came out alive ? The witch !

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Whats the difference between premenstrual tension and BSE? One's mad cow disease, the other's an agricultural problem.

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Why is Easter like whipped cream and a cherry? Because it's always on a sundae!

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My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday. How is she now ? She's fine. But, the dog died.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Buffer ! Buffer who ? Buffer you can say Jack Robinson !

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Who sends flowers on Valentines Day? Cupigs!

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Police Chief: Why did you arrest that doctor? Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

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If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left ? I don't know. Why not ? In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges.

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What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers ? Fang letters !

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Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.

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CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.

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