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Dentist jokes

As the judge said to the dentist: Do you

swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the

tooth?

 

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.

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Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety? Crumbs!

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Whats the world weakest animal ? A toad, he croaks if you even touch him !

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Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.

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Knock Knock Who's there ? Closure ! Closure who ? Closure mouth when you eat !

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The major difference between death and taxes is that Congress can't make death any worse than it is.

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What salesman has the slickest line? A hair grease salesman.

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Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour ? Pupil: Because it can't sit down !

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Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because it's out of the high rent district.

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Q: How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home? A: They put parking meters on the roof!

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Fred wrote in her homework book: Margarine is butter made from imitation cows.

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Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A. He didn't have the guts too

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What does a monster do when he loses his head? He calls a head hunter.

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MONSTER MOTHER: How many times have I told you not to eat with your fingers? Use the spade like everyone else.

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Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder? A: You can't!

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A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.

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If athletes get athlete's foot, then what do astronauts get? Missile toe.

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Do you know how to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!

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How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink!

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Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains Well pull yourself together then

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