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Dentist jokes

As the judge said to the dentist: Do you

swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the

tooth?

 

Q: How many Serbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two-one to shoot the old bulb out and one to screw the new one in.

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Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: They have big fingers.

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Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!

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Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can't they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.

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Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team? Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.

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How could the dolphin afford to buy a house ? He prawned everything !

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CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.

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Yo Mamas teeth are so yellow I can't believe it's not butter.

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While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling. Nodding to me, she said, "Thank goodness my work is completed. I'm so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who's so gentle and understanding too." When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor. He laughed and explained, "Oh, that was just my Mother."

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Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits! What, you mean those square ones? Yes! The ones you put butter on? Yes! Oh, You're Crackers!

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What would you call a nine day old dog in Russia? A puppy.

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Mad men are given a test to prove they are getting normal their teacher draws a door on the wall and orders them to go out. They tart fighting but one remains sitting and the teacher goes to him and asks why he didn't join others and he says "let them fight they forgot I have the keys"

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The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase "secure the building". The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.

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How do you stop a monster digging up your garden? Take his spade away.

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Q: What's an accordion good for? A: Learning how to fold a map.

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Do pigs like Backgammon? No, they prefer their backs scratched.

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Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money", he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "Hey, watch it - I'm a United States Congressman!" "In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."

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What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs!

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What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell? Addercadabra and abradacobra.

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How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters? NME (enemy).

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