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Dentist jokes

As the judge said to the dentist: Do you

swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the

tooth?

 

What kind of elephants live in Antartica ? Cold ones !

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First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes, her skin had the glow of a peach, her cheeks were like apples and her lips like cherries - that's my girl. Second boy: Sounds like a fruit salad to me.

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What do stupid kids do at Halloween ? They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins !

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When did Caesar reign ? I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him ?

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A guy is dating three women and can't decide which one to marry. He gives each $1,000 to see how well they can manage money. The first one spends $800 and puts $200 in the bank. The second one spends $200 and puts $800 in the bank. The third one puts the whole $1,000 in the bank. Which one does he end up marrying? The most beautiful one..

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When do men insist that women are illogical? When a woman doesn't agree with them.

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Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner? A. In the pages of a romance novel.

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Farmer: What would you do if a bull charged you? Mary: I'd pay whatever it charged.

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What did the mama pig say to her bad little piglet? "Behave or Frankenswine will get you."

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Did you hear about the witch who went in for the lovely legs competition? She was beaten by the microphone stand.

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Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.

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What is a dog's favourite sport ? Formula 1 drooling !

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What do ghosts watch if they want to relax? Skelly-vision!

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What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl? I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

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What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy? Lots a candy.

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First Caribou: Which bug gobbles up trash? Second Caribou: The litterbug.

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Teacher: Frd, give me a sentence starting with "I." Fred: I is . . . Teacher: No, Fred. You must always say "I am." Fred: Oh, right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

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FRED: Your monster was making a terrible noise last night. BERT: Yes - ever since he ate Madonna, he thinks he can sing.

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There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop sucking his thumb, he'd get fat. Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!"

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Fred: I got 100 in school today. Mother: Wonderful. What did you get 100 in? Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History. Mother: Well, at least you can add !

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