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Dentist jokes

As the judge said to the dentist: Do you

swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the

tooth?

 

Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a street corner? A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!

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Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and Chinese and a Mexican man? A: A car thief who can't drive!

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Did you hear about the ghoul's favorite hotel? It had running rot and mould in every room.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Cyril ! Cyril who ? Cyril thing - no imitations here !

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Q: What are the three types of men? A: The handsome, the caring, and the majority.

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A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."

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Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead. It's called a garbage compactor.

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Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"

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Who was that on the phone, Fred? Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia, so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !

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When doesn't a telephone work underwater? When it's wringing wet!

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Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said, "Drac, we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?" "Yes," replied Dracula, "have lots of giraffes."

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Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because it's out of the high rent district.

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Q: Why do Polish hate Cauchy's dog? (hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem) A: Because it leaves residues at each Pole.

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How do you make a Gorilla float? Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!

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Sharon: I'm so homesick. Sheila: But this is your home! Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Cosi ! Cosi who ? Cosi has to !

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The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge. "Was it my friend Sam", he demanded. "No !" his weeping wife replied. "Was it my friend Jim then?" he asked. "NO !!!" she said even more upset. "Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked. "Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" she snapped.

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Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to shoot the bulb.

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While practicing autorotations during a military night training exercise a Huey Cobra screwed up the landing and landed on the tail rotor. The landing was so hard that it broke off the tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remained upright on its skids, sliding down the runway doing 360s. As the Cobra slid past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this was the radio exchange that took place... Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?" Cobra: "I don't know Tower, we ain't done crashin' yet."

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