advertisements

Dentist jokes

As the judge said to the dentist: Do you

swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the

tooth?

 

Q: Why do Polish hate Cauchy's dog? (hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem) A: Because it leaves residues at each Pole.

Read more!

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"

Read more!

advertisements
advertisements

Have you seen www.yawn.com? Yes, but I'm a bit tired of it.

Read more!

Where does King Kong sleep? Anywhere he wants to.

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Andrew ! Andrew who ? Andrew all her money out of the bank !

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Cy ! Cy who ? Cy'n on the botton line !

Read more!

The first lawyer questioning a panel of prospective jurors began right off as an intimidating showman. When he came to his question, "Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?" they stiffened and hesitated. Before the pause became too long, the judge announced, "I do."

Read more!

- How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile? - Two. One to launch it, one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

Read more!

Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one... but how do you get him in there with the cute, blonde?

Read more!

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I have contacts." The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

Read more!

Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkly? Because if they were small round and white, they would be aspirins.

Read more!

A fireman and policeman died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning that if they had even one bad thought their wings would fall off. Well, everything went well for some time then one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady. As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off. When he bent over to pick them up the policemans wings fell off.

Read more!

How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ? You wake up wet !

Read more!

Spell extra wise in two letters. YY (2 y's)

Read more!

A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" she sighed. "No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!"

Read more!

A tourist from the United States of America is at a resturant in Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the best country in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says, "Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in front of the White House in Washington D.C. and yell 'President Clinton is a bastard!' and nothing would be done to me." The Cuban waiter replies, "We have that same freedom in Cuba. I could stand in front of El Capital and yell the same thing and nothing would be done to me too!"

Read more!

What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico? "Attention K-Mart shoppers..."

Read more!

How did the toad die ? He simply croaked !

Read more!

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?" He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?" The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts." "Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means." The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."

Read more!

Q: How is a marriage like a hot bath? A: Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

Read more!