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Dentist jokes

Why does a dentist seem moody?
Because he
always looks down in the mouth.

 

Why did the condom cross the road? Because it was pissed off.

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Have you heard the story about the loaf of bread? No. Oh, crumbs.

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What was King Arthur's favourite game ? Knights and crosses !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Alice ! Alice who ? Alice N. Tew if you'll listen to me !

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What did the stamp say to the envelope? "I've become attached to you."

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A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: "You're what?!?"

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A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.

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A patrol of allied soldiers were in a ruined city during World War Two. They are bragging and joshing about how many kills they have so far to keep up courage on their route through the rubbled buildings. Sergeant Joe thumps his chest and proclaims. "I got me 4 germans bagged so far. Howabout you John?" Before Pfc John can reply, a lone german soldier runs out of a trashed hotel. In the process of throwing down his rifle after seeing the larger allied soldier group, he shouts "NEIN!" Pfc John takes aim at the enemy and shoots him. "Well, he wont get himself a tenth allied soldier." Joe all year long!

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Why did the man put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work overtime.

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Tourist: The flies are awfully thick around here. Don't you ever shoo them? Native: No, we just let them go barefoot.

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What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head ? A tiger moth !

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Waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Sorry sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.

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Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home? A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.

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What dog would you want on your American football team? A golden receiver!

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What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill ? "Pack your trunk and clear out !"

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What do you get if you cross an elephant with the abominable snowman? A jumbo yeti.

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Two parrots are sitting on a perch. The first one says to the other "can you smell fish?".

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Did you hear about the ghost who learnt to fly? He was pleased to be back on terror-firma.

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What is a ghost's favorite Wild West town? Tombstone.

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Q: What are the three types of men? A: The handsome, the caring, and the majority.

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