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Dentist jokes

Why does a dentist seem moody?
Because he
always looks down in the mouth.

 

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower !

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What did the dog do when the panhandler put the bite on him? Bit him, naturally.

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Q. What did Snow white say when her photos didn't come back from the photo store? A. "Some day my prints will come!"

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If doors have a website shouldn't windows have one too? We'd better, or it will be curtains for us.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Ali ! Ali who ? Ali-luyah, at last you've opened the door !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Ayatollah ! Ayatollah who ? Ayatollah you already !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bert ! Bert who ? Bert the dinner !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Cathy ! Cathyl who ? Cathy free. Never had it. Never will !

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How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.

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Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you? Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

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Yo mama so fat she wears a vcr as a beeper.

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Q: Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's Day. What do single guys have? A: Palm Sunday.

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An old Native American wanted a loan for $500. He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, "What are you going to do with the money?" "Take jewelry to city and sell it," said the old man. "What have you got for collateral?" queried the banker, going strictly by the book. "Don't know of collateral." "Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?" "Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup." The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?" "Yes, I have a horse." "How old is it?" "I don't know; it has no teeth." Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan. Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here's the money to pay loan," he said, handing the entire amount including interest. "What are you going to do with the rest of that money?" "Put it in my pocket." "Why don't you deposit it in my bank?" he asked. "I don't know of deposit." "Well, you put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it." The old Indian leaned across the desk, looking suspiciously at the banker, and asked, "What you got for collateral?"

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Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just *fine*.

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Q: How many anglers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four, one to change the light bulb and three to brag about how big the old one was and about the one that they would have changed, but "It got away"

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Did you hear about the dimwit who was so dumb he thought Gatorade was welfare for crocodiles?

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Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart? Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small!

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Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid? A: When the other tenors notice.

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What world athletic sporting event is held every four years? The Olympigs!

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What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old? A two-year-old vampire.

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