advertisements

Dentist jokes

Why does a dentist seem moody?
Because he
always looks down in the mouth.

 

Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Read more!

Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.

Read more!

advertisements
advertisements

Karen: Have you noticed that Daddy is getting taller ? Sharon: No, why ? Karen: His head is sticking through his hair.

Read more!

The world's most incredibly lazy man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. He wished for a horse, a sumo wrestler and a squirrel. "They're yours, but what are they for?" the genie asked. "I'm tired of walking everywhere--I want to just ride the horse. The sumo wrestler is so that I won't have to work to get on the horse." "But the squirrel?" asked the genie. "I need something to go 'click-click' to start the horse!!!"

Read more!

Bad timing for an excuse Teacher: Why were you late? Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept. Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!

Read more!

A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure." The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?" The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."

Read more!

How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down? Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

Read more!

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal ? That hit the spots !

Read more!

How can you tell a dog from an elephant? The elephant remembers.

Read more!

A cop pulled up two Irish drunks, and asked to the first, "What's your name and address?" "I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address." The cop turned to the second drunk, and asked the same question. "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."

Read more!

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: 'Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?' 'Yes,' the professor ansvered. 'When I was a young candidate at the hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not se it so, and the goal won us the match. I regret that now.' 'Well,' said the gatekeeper. 'That is a very minor sin. You may enter.' 'Thank you very much, Saint Peter,' the professor ansvered. 'Im am not Saint Peter,' said the gatekeeper. 'He is having his lunchbreak. I am Saint Lucas.'

Read more!

Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!

Read more!

What happened at the cannibal's wedding party? They toasted the bride and groom.

Read more!

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom? Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.

Read more!

A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?" The driver said, "You buyin'?"

Read more!

What's a snake's favourite food ? Hiss Cakes !

Read more!

Q: Why do men become smarter during sex? A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

Read more!

Q: Did you hear about the conceited blonde? A: She screams her own name when she comes.

Read more!

Did you hear the one about the Easter Bunny who sat on a bee? It's a tender tail!

Read more!

Q. Where do fish sleep? A. In a river bed

Read more!