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Dentist jokes

Why does a dentist seem moody?
Because he
always looks down in the mouth.

 

An agriculture student said to a farmer: "Your methods are too old fashioned. I won't be surprised if this tree will give you less than twenty pounds of apples." "I won't be surprised either," said the farmer, "this is an orange tree".

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What's a fresh vegetable? One that insults a farmer.

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Q. What did Snow white say when her photos didn't come back from the photo store? A. "Some day my prints will come!"

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Men are like remote controls. Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around a TV.

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How did the world's tallest monster become short overnight? Someone stole all his money.

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What's a rabbits' favorite song? "Hoppy Birthday to You."

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A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad. Looking at it they see under math an A+. Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind about learning math?" The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business."

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Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ? Someone else's !

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If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? The swallow.

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Q: What's the slowest thing in the world? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.

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Camper: There's something wrong with my hot dog. Cook: Don't tell me. I'm not a veterinarian.

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How do we know that insects are so clever ? Because they always know when your eating outside !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Adder ! Adder who ? Adder you get in here ?

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Amory ! Amory who ? Amory Christmas and a Happy New Year !

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Teacher : Make up a sentence using the word lettuce ! Pupil : Let us out of school early !

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If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers!

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What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday? Saturday Night Fever.

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Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye? Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

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Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise? Because the captain stood on the deck.

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What did Frankenstein's monster say when he was struck by lightning? Thanks, I needed that.

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