Dentist jokes
What was the dentist doing in
Panama?...Looking
for the Root Canal
| What do ghosts watch if they want to relax? Skelly-vision! |
| Mad men are given a test to prove they are getting normal their teacher draws a door on the wall and orders them to go out. They tart fighting but one remains sitting and the teacher goes to him and asks why he didn't join others and he says "let them fight they forgot I have the keys" |
| Teacher: Why are you pushing garlic into the computer's disk drive? Pupil: To keep vampires off the Internet Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet Pupil: See? It works, doesn't it? |
| Knock Knock Who's there ! Ammon ! Ammon who ? Ammon old hand at picking locks ! |
| At Parris Island, a sergeant was teaching a private to throw a grenade at a pracitice training course. He ran about 10 yards away to be safe, and yelled the instructions. "Pull the pin, throw and hit the dirt!" The private proceeds to do so, and throws the explosive directly at the sergeant! A few months later, the sergeant meets the private in a group of men killed in battle. He goes up the the private- no hard feelings because heaven is well, great- and asks him how he 'bit the dust.' Responds the private: "Well, i was caught in a ambush; these guys," He thumbs behind him. "got caught in the jeep under the fire. I managed to make it to a ditch where i yanked a grenade form my belt and pulled the pin and lever. The enemy runs away seeing it, so i put the grenade back onto my belt." |
| Why do bears have fur coats ? Because they'd look stupid in anoraks ! |
| Waiter, what is this cockroach doing on my ice cream sundae ? Skiing sir ! |
| Why were the vets and pounds mad? It was raining cats and dogs |
| What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A Lassie who plays brassie! |
| What game do 18 dogs like to play during the summer? Woofleball |
| Barber: Your hair is getting grey, Sir. Customer: I'm not surprised - hurry up, will you? |
| Is there a mouse in the house ? No, but there's a moose on the loose ! |
| Polceman: "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lock you up for the night." Man: "What's the charge?" Polceman: "Oh, there's no charge. It's all part of the service. |
| Q: How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry? A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel down a bit. |
| What TV game show do fish like best? Name that tuna! |
| What do naked fish play with ? Bare-a-cudas ! |
| What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party? Hallowieners! |
| A Director arrives below and is met by Satan who shows him around. Turns out that Hell is a gigantic movie studio with the latest and best equipment, stages, great actors, etc. Director thinks its great and asks Satan what heaven is like if hell is this good. Satan says heaven is exactly like this, a movie studio. The Director is confused. "Then what's the difference," he asks. Satan smiles. "Well, in heaven they actually *make* movies." |
| How many men does it take to open a beer? - None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. |
| What makes an ideal present for a monster? Five pairs of gloves one for each hand. |
