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Dentist jokes

What was the dentist doing in
Panama?...Looking
for the Root Canal

 

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible Who said that?

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How do whales type e-mails? With their fish fingers.

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What cheese is made backwards? Edam.

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My teacher loves me - she puts kisses against all my sums.

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An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the idiot. "I think I am planting them too deep."

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Have you seen www.tomatosauce.com? No, I'll ketchup with it later.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bat ! Bat who ? Bat you'll never guess!

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Q: How do you know when you're at a hillbilly wedding? A: Everyone is sitting on the same side of the church.

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What comes out at night and goes Munch, munch, ouch! A vampire with a rotten tooth.

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Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

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What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ? I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs !

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An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant -- first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, "Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!"

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A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman were sitting in a pub discussing the best pubs around. The Englishman says, ''There's a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every that you buy.'' The Scot is not impressed and says, ''That's nothing! In the Highlands every time you buy a drink the landlord buys you five.'' At this point the Englishman is fairly impressed. The Irishman, totally unimpressed, says ''That's nothing. In Dublin there's this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all night, and then when the bar shuts he takes you into a room and makes love to you.'' The Scot and Englishman are well impressed and ask if the Irishman goes there a lot. He replies ''No, but my sister told me about it.''

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They say that it's tough to learn Bosnian because it has seven verb tenses: six past, one present, and no future.

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Who never gets his hair wet in the shower? A bald man.

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What happened at the cannibal's wedding party? They toasted the bride and groom.

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Doctor, doctor, nobody understands me. What do you mean by that?

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Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist? Because she thought everybody loved her.

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This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course). That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little. The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about "normal" tricks. Well, they said, "let's try this out." Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounce d the command, "Heel!" Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.

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What lights up a football stadium ? A football match !

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