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Dentist jokes

What was the dentist doing in
Panama?...Looking
for the Root Canal

 

Why do elephants do well in school ? Because they have a lot of grey matter !

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What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? - Quattro Sink-o

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What language do they speak in Cuba ? Cubic !

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What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner? Thank you, I'll just have a slither.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ? Enough drumsticks to feed an army !

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The Judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" "I do." "Now what do you say to defend yourself?" "Your Honor, under those limitations... nothing."

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Where is the best place to hide a lawyer? In a brief case.

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What goes eek, eek, bang? A mouse in a minefield !

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What's a rabbits' favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback!

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Teacher: Why do you want to work in a bank, Alan? Fred: 'Cuz there's money in it, sir.

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How does Dracula like to have his food served? In bite-sized pieces.

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Two Newfies landed themselves a job at a saw mill. Just before morning the one yelled, "Mick! I lost me finger!" "Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?" "I just touched this big spinning thing here... No! There goes another one!"

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Many years ago, a fisherman's wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn't think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, "Let's not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us." After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn't matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. "Let's call the boys Towards and Away," suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as Towards and Away. The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, "Boys, it is time that learned how to make a living from the sea." They provisioned their ship, said their goodbyes, and set sail for a three month voyage. The three months passed quickly for the fisherman's wife, yet the ship had not returned. Another three months passed, and still no ship. Three whole years passed before the greiving woman saw a lone man walking towards her house. She recognized him as her husband. "My goodness! What has happened to my darling boys?" she cried. The ragged fisherman began to tell his story: "We were just barely one whole day out to see when Towards hooked into a great fish. Towards fought long and hard, but the fish was more than his equal. For a whole week they wrestled upon the waves without either of them letting up. Yet eventually the great fish started to win the battle, and Towards was pulled over the side of our ship. He was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of them again." "Oh dear, that must have been terrible! What a huge fish that must of been!" "Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away...."

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Why are fish so smart? They are always in schools!

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How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!

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Yo momma so bald head she put a weave cap on and it weave her cull

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yo mama so fat she sat on a tractor and made it a pick-up truck.

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Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have? A: One that never misses a period.

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Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!" "That bad, huh" "She did everything wrong! She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!"

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How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!

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