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Dentist jokes

What was the dentist doing in
Panama?...Looking
for the Root Canal

 

As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, "Have you just gotten out of prison?" "Yeah," the guy replied. "How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have sex from the rear?" "Partly." She said. "But more because when we finished, you ran around in front of me, bent over, and shouted, 'YOUR TURN.'"

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Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

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Why is it called a "litter" of puppies ? Because they mess up the whole house !

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Why did the dog's owner think his dog was a great mathematician? When he asked the dog what six minus six was, the dog said nothing.

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Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun? Because she had her nose in a hamburger.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Caroline ! Caroline who ? Caroline of rope with you !

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A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference: "Many say the only reason why you would be elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father." "That notion is ridiculous!" mocked George Jr. "It doesn't matter how powerful the man is. He can only vote once!"

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What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits' home? A search warren!

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What do you call an alien surfing the Internet? e-t.

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What does a basketball player do before he blows out his candles? He makes a swish!

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What is a goal keepers favourite snack ? Beans on post !

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Do you know how to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!

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Yo Mama so fat she gives herself group hugs!

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Why are clouds like jockeys? Because they hold the reins!

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Mike and Pat went hunting. Mike saw a large goose fly by. He raised his rifle to shoot. 'Don't waste your time,' Pat hollered. 'The rifle is not loaded.' 'I can't wait,' Mike shouted back. 'The bird will be gone if I take the time to load!'

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Boiler ! Boiler who ? Boiler egg for four minutes !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Carrie ! Carrie who ? Carrie me home, I'm tired !

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Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds.

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What should you call a polite, friendly, kind, good looking monster? A failure.

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Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze ? Pupil: Hot water !

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