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Dentist jokes

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary
out?...He was
already taking out a tooth

 

Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?" "Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears."

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"I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead." "That's not true, vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!"

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Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest? Because she was a litter bug.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Cash ! Cash who ? Cash me if you can !

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Why did the monster take a dead man for a drive in his car? Because he was a car-case.

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A young woman on a rough Atlantic crossing was in her cabin undressing then suddenly she was overcome by sea sickness. In a panic she rushed into the corridor and headed for the bathroom. It was not until she collided with an elderly gentleman that she realized she didn't have a stitch of clothing on. Horrified, she let out a shriek. Her fellow sufferer looked at her sadly. "Don't let it bother you, miss," he moaned. "I'll never live to tell anyone."

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What would a pig name a chain of food stores? "Stop "N Slop Markets"

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When pigs have a party, who jumps out of the cake? Nobody. The pigs all jump in.

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Did you hear about that guy who was asked to be a Jehovah's witness? - He refused becuase he hadn't seen the accident.

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What do clouds want to be when they grow up? -Thunderstorms

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Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

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Q: What do you say to a dog before he eats? - A: Bone appetite!

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I just spotted a Chihuahua! That wasn't very nice, you shouldn't draw on dogs!

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What disease do horses fear most? Hay Fever!

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Why did King Kong paint the bottoms of his feet brown? So that he could hide upside down in a jar of peanut butter.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Asa ! Asa who ! Asa-int amongst men !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Becca ! Becca who ? Becca the net !

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What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats? You know you need a psychiatrist!

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After a difficult day a struggling actor returns to his neighborhood and is shocked to find a cadre of police and fire trucks surrounding the smoldering remains of his house. Explaining who he was he asks "What happened?" "Well," one of the officer's says, "It seems that your agent came by your house earlier today and while he was here he attacked your wife, assaulted your children, beat your dog and burned your house to the ground." The actor is struck speechless, his jaw hanging open in disbelief... "My agent came to my house?"

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Father: I hear you skipped school to play football Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!

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