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Dentist jokes

Anyone know the six most frightening words in

the world ??? "The Dentist will see you now."

 

Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off. Oh dear, that's a lot of calories!

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Fireman rescued a man who was badly injured in a car accident. The entire left half of his body was torn off. He was taken to the hospital and examined. The doctors said he was all right. The nurses said there wasn't much left.

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Why did the dog run in circles? He was a watchdog and needed winding.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a banana ? Have you ever tried to peel an elephant ?

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Q: How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.

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What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd? He called the piano tuna!

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Have you seen www.needleinahaystack.com? Yes, but it took ages to find.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Alec ! Alec who ? Alec-tricity. Isn't that a shock !

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What do you call a mammoth who conducts an orchestra? Tuskanini.

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Are you in the top half of your class ? No, I'm one of the students who make the top half possible !

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Why did the chicken walk on the telephone wire? She wanted to lay it on the line!

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Fred: Do you like my new hairstyle? Harry: In as much as it covers most of your face, yes.

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Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: "double my I.Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said: "triple my I.Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisherman said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman

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There once was a German schoolteacher. She went to England to teach. When she arrived at the boardinghouse, she wanted to use the bathroom of the Water Closet. She sent a note with a messenger boy to the host asking where the WC was, thinking that the house knew what WC stood for. When the host recieved the letter, he wrote a response thinking that the WC was the Wayside Chapel. He reponse read: The WC is 3 miles away. My wife has been sick for a while, so she was not able to go for 3 years. The WC can hold up to 300 people at one time. The people complained about the hard wooden seats so instead soft, plush seats were made. I have reserved for you the best seat where EVERYONE can see you!

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Q: Where do people who say "shoot" and "darn" go to? A: Heck

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How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life ? Tell him a joke when he's a baby !

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I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bert ! Bert who ? Bert the dinner !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Carson ! Carson who ? Carconogenic !

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Q: How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven; one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.

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