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Dentist jokes

Anyone know the six most frightening words in

the world ??? "The Dentist will see you now."

 

What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes? Get a small hankie!

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What has long ears, four legs, and is worn on your head? An Easter bunnet!

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Q: You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Polak is there? A: He's the one with a duck.

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What is small, furry and smells like bacon? A hamster.

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Jay: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can't get to heaven? Ted: No, but the more you smoke the quicker you'll get there.

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Q. What's te definition of a bachelor pad? A. All the house plants are dead, but there's something growing in the refrigerator.

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An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."

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Fred: I haven't slept a wink for the past two nights. Harry: Why's that? Fred: Granny broke her leg. The doctor put it in plaster and told her she shouldn't walk upstairs. You should hear the row when she climbs up the drainpipe.

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Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip and asked her husband, "How did Greg do on his history exam?" "Oh, not so good," he replied. "But it wasn't his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was born!"

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Who sends flowers on Valentines Day? Cupigs!

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A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually. So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open. The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger i n the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

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Young lady to father "Daddy, when I grow up shall I become a heart-doctor or a tooth-doctor " "Dentist" "Why father ?" "We have only one heart, but 32 teeth!"

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Q: Why do blondes always drink with straws? A: Practice.

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There was a huge fire at a big city soda factory. The city company was losing ground and the owner was frantic. He told the fire department that he needed a secret formula in the safe that was in the center of the blaze, and he would give 10,000 dollars to the department that got the formula. An hour later no ground was gained and a mutual aid call was put out. When 12 departments couldn't subdue the blaze the owner saw this he raised the reward to 100,000 dollars. Suddenly a small town department drove their truck right into the fire and emerged 10 minutes later with the formula. When asked what they would do with the money one said, "Get them damn brakes fixed we figure."

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Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

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What is a horses favourite kind of party? A stall ball.

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Q. What did dela wear?(Delaware) A. Her New Jersey

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Did you hear about the stupid water-polo player? His horse drowned . . .

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Why are mosquitoes annoying? Because they get under your skin.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Chloe ! Chloe who ? Chloe's Encounters of the Third Kind !

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