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Dentist jokes

Patient:Do you extract teeth
painlessly?
Dentis: "Not always, the other day I nearly dislocated my
wrist

 

Once there were two chinese gentlemen named Mr. Ho and Mr. Chen. They were neighbors but happened to be very competitive. One day Mr. Ho decided to start a shoe business, he named his store WE DO SHOE. now Mr. Chen decided he must compete with Mr. Ho, so he started a shoe business right next door to Mr. Ho's store and he named it SHOE DO WE.

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When do ghosts usually appear? Just before someone screams.

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He is so dumb, he thinks an agent is someone who keeps track of your age!

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Czech ! Czech who ? Czech before you open the door !

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This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife and children. I'll never forget that game of cards...

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Little monster: Mom, I've finished. Can I leave the table? Mommy monster: Yes, I'll save it for your supper.

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Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? A: King Kong is more sensitive.

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Where do retired pigs go for warm weather? The tropigs!

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I went to a restaurant that serves -breakfast at any time.- So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

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Who invented the telephone? The Phoenicians (phone-itions).

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What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house ? The Lizard of Oz !

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What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.

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A guy went out on the golf course took a high-speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground. When he finally got himself to the doctor, he said, "How bad is it doc? I'm getting married next week, and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way." The doc said, "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay by next week." So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art. The guy mentioned none of this to his girl. They got married and on the honeymoon night in their hotel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them, and she said,You'll be the first; no one has ever touched them before." He tore off his pants and said, "Look at this. It's still in the crate!"

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Q. What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies? A. Bingo!

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It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?" The elephant replied, "Well, I didn't mean to kill him -- I was just trying to trip him up."

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Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.

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What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool? Show me your mussels.

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My friend is so stupid that he thinks twice before saying nothing.

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How did the world's tallest monster become short overnight? Someone stole all his money.

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What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar!

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