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Dentist jokes

Patient:Do you extract teeth
painlessly?
Dentis: "Not always, the other day I nearly dislocated my
wrist

 

Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkly? Because if they were small round and white, they would be aspirins.

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A fireman and policeman died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning that if they had even one bad thought their wings would fall off. Well, everything went well for some time then one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady. As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off. When he bent over to pick them up the policemans wings fell off.

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How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ? You wake up wet !

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Spell extra wise in two letters. YY (2 y's)

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A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" she sighed. "No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!"

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A tourist from the United States of America is at a resturant in Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the best country in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says, "Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in front of the White House in Washington D.C. and yell 'President Clinton is a bastard!' and nothing would be done to me." The Cuban waiter replies, "We have that same freedom in Cuba. I could stand in front of El Capital and yell the same thing and nothing would be done to me too!"

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What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico? "Attention K-Mart shoppers..."

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How did the toad die ? He simply croaked !

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A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?" He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?" The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts." "Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means." The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."

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Q: How is a marriage like a hot bath? A: Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

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Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

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"No, no, no!" said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. "I cannot see you today!" "That's fine," said the salesman, "I'm selling spectacles."

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Why did the vampire have pedestrian eyes? They looked both ways before they crossed.

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yo mama so nasty... cows with mad cow disease run from her..

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As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, "Have you just gotten out of prison?" "Yeah," the guy replied. "How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have sex from the rear?" "Partly." She said. "But more because when we finished, you ran around in front of me, bent over, and shouted, 'YOUR TURN.'"

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Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

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Why is it called a "litter" of puppies ? Because they mess up the whole house !

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Why did the dog's owner think his dog was a great mathematician? When he asked the dog what six minus six was, the dog said nothing.

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Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun? Because she had her nose in a hamburger.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Caroline ! Caroline who ? Caroline of rope with you !

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