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Letter jokes

Are you writing a thank you letter to Grandma

like I told you to? Yes Mom. Your handwriting seems very large. Well,

Grandma's very deaf, so I'm writing very loudly.

 

What do mice do when they're at home ? Mousework !

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Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!

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What is a ghost favorite fruit ? Boonanaa !

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There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Picasso Barbie ...everything's in the wrong place

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Policeman: What do you think you're doing parking your car there? Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says "Safety Zone."

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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible Who said that?

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How do whales type e-mails? With their fish fingers.

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What cheese is made backwards? Edam.

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My teacher loves me - she puts kisses against all my sums.

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An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the idiot. "I think I am planting them too deep."

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Have you seen www.tomatosauce.com? No, I'll ketchup with it later.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bat ! Bat who ? Bat you'll never guess!

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Q: How do you know when you're at a hillbilly wedding? A: Everyone is sitting on the same side of the church.

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What comes out at night and goes Munch, munch, ouch! A vampire with a rotten tooth.

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Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

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Helen: Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday? Mum: No, dear, what ? Helen: A nice teapot. Mum: But I've got a nice teapot. Helen: No you haven't. I've just dropped it.

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Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did? A: A dead girlfriend.

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Jeb and Eudell, University of Michigan athletes, were driving from Ann Arbor to Cleveland. Just outside the city limits they saw a sign: "CLEAN REST ROOMS." By the time they got to Cleveland, they'd cleaned 147 Johns.

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What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ? I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs !

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An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant -- first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, "Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!"

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