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Letter jokes

Are you writing a thank you letter to Grandma

like I told you to? Yes Mom. Your handwriting seems very large. Well,

Grandma's very deaf, so I'm writing very loudly.

 

What do witches ring for in a hotel? B-room service.

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Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer? He wanted to have webbed feet.

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Does killing time damage eternity?

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What is red and goes putt, putt, putt? An outboard apple.

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When do burgers quit their jobs? The day they decide to meat LOAF!

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Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia? A: His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict.

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Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous. You know, this is my first extraction. Young dentist: Don't worry, it's my first extraction too.

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What is a collie puppy's favorite toy? A chew-chew train!

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Why did the dog jump into the sea? He wanted to chase the catfish!

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What food is good for the brain? Noodle soup.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Blair ! Blair who ? Blair play !

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The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

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Do you know the time ? No, we haven't met yet !

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Why was the lion-tamer fined ? He parked on a yellow lion !

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CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig shake? WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.

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A customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes.

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A blonde opened a hair salon next to a graveyard and named it ''Curl Up and Dye.''

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Parachute Jumping by Hugo Furst

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Why is it so cold at Christmas? It's in Decembrrrrr.

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What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.

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