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Dirty jokes

Harry approached a prostitute and asked, "How
much for a blow job
?".
"Hundred Bucks".
"OK", he said and
began to jerk off.
"What the hell are you doing that for?"
"For
hundred bucks you don't think I'm going to give you the easy
one, do
you ?"

 

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.

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Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep. That's baaaaaaaaaad!

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Why did the dog say he was an actor? His leg was in a cast.

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What equine likes to cut in line? A sawhorse!

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Duayne met Patricia Ann from Birmingham at a Tus-caloosa ballroom. They danced every dance together. When the evening was over, he asked if he could see her next time he was in town. "Yes," replied Patricia Ann shyly. The young man hurriedly took out his pad and pencil and asked, "What's your number?" "CApitol 4-6173." After a long embarrassed pause, Duayne asked, "How do yew make a capital 4?"

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What can a monster do that you can't do? Count up to 25 on his fingers.

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Where did the piglets study their ABC's? At a school for higher loining.

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"Dad, can you write in the dark?" "I think so. What is it you want me to write?" "Your name on this report card."

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"Waiter, waiter,there's a hand in my soup." "That's not your soup, sir, that's your finger bowl."

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CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig shake? WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.

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What does a witch do if her broom is stolen ? She calls the flying squad !

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Q: When is a strange dog most likely to go into your house? - A: When the door is open.

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What's grey but turns red ? An embarrassed elephant !

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Q:What should Iraq get for its air defense system? A:A refund.

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Who writes books for little bees ? Bee-trix Potter !

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Q. How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish? A. When he goes to confession, he takes a lawyer with him.

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"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

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How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

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Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches.

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Q: What is 61 to a blonde? A: She wants 8 (ate) more.

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