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Dirty jokes

Harry approached a prostitute and asked, "How
much for a blow job
?".
"Hundred Bucks".
"OK", he said and
began to jerk off.
"What the hell are you doing that for?"
"For
hundred bucks you don't think I'm going to give you the easy
one, do
you ?"

 

What do naked fish play with ? Bare-a-cudas !

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What is the wasps' favorite song? Just a Spoonful of Sugar.

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How did the telephones get married ? In a double ring ceremony !

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What do polar bears have for lunch ? Ice burger !

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Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

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Zoo visitor: What's the new baby hippo's name? Hippopotamus keeper: I don't know, he won't tell me.

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Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

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How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard? Put him in your back yard.

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What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside ? An elephant disguised as a banana !

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Camper: There's a leak over my bunk! Counselor: Don't complain. It only leaks when it rains.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Anne ! Anne who ? Anne apple just fell on my head !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Celery ! Celery who ? Celery me you lunch will you, I'm hungry !

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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."

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Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.

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Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain today. Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.

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Is it good to drink witch's brew? Yes, it's very newt tricious!

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Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow. Doctor: How do you feel? Patient: A little down in the mouth.

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Q.What do you get when you cross a Fire Chief two Lotus Notes Gurus ? A. FireWeb .... of course!

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And what's your name?" the secretary asked the next new boy. "Butter." "I hope your first name's not Roland," smirked the secretary. "No, ma'am. It's Brendan."

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What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre ? A spinning wheel !

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