Dirty jokes
Harry approached a prostitute and asked, "How
much for a blow job
?".
"Hundred Bucks".
"OK", he said and
began to jerk off.
"What the hell are you doing that for?"
"For
hundred bucks you don't think I'm going to give you the easy
one, do
you ?"
| Question: What do elephants use for tampoons? Answer: Sheep. |
| How many seasons are there in a dogs life ? Just one, the moulting season ! |
| What has long ears, four legs, and is worn on your head? An Easter bunnet! |
| Why are fish cleverer than humans? Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human? |
| At the end of camp, Julie won the prize for neatest trunk. Her mother was amazed. 'How did your trunk get so neat?' she asked her messy daughter. 'It was easy,' said Julie. 'I just never unpacked!' |
| A man had a nose ring fitted into his nose, a friend asked, "how much did you pay for that?" "I paid through the nose!" he replied |
| Men are like chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips. |
| Two paratrooper recruits in a plane: - Are you crazy, Vasily? You are going to jump without a parachute. - Is it mandatory to wear it? - Sure. It's raining outside. |
| A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead. The musician calls back 25 times more and gets the same message from receptionist. She asks why he keeps calling. He replies, "I just like to hear you say it." |
| Why didn't the dog want to play football ? It was a boxer ! |
| What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? -Hurricanes with cataracts |
| What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ? Dumbo ! |
| Q: Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used? A: No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole. |
| Which route should you take through the woods when riding a fizzy horse? The psycho-path! |
| Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball? Because it's covered with horsehide! |
| Knock Knock Who's there ! Cassie ! Cassie who ? Cassie the forest for the trees ! |
| Which two letters of the alphabet are nothing? MT (empty) . |
| What a woman says: "This place is a mess C'mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!" What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah, C'mon blah, blah, blah, blah, you and I blah, blah, blah, blah, on the floor blah, blah, blah, blah, no clothes blah, blah, blah, blah, right now ! |
| Q: How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: WHAT? |
| Yo mama so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon. |
