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Rabbit jokes

Did you hear about the pub owner who raised

a baby rabbit?
It was an inn-grown hare!

 

What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !

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I'd love you to stay the night, but I'm afraid you'll have to make your own bed. Oh, that's all right, I don't mind at all. Right. Here's a hammer, a saw, and some nails. The wood's in the garage. I have four legs, but only one foot. What am I? A bed

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What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg ? It eggs-plodes !

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Blake and his parents were drinking at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover that they had missed the train. "The next train is in one hour," said the stationmaster. The three went back into the bar. The parents had another drink; Blake had a Pepsi. Again they heard a whistle, rushed out and discovered the train pulling away. "Next one is sixty minutes from now!" said the stationmaster. An hour later, Blake, with his mom and dad, raced out onto the platform, and his parents leaped onto the train as it pulled away. The boy was left standing on the platform and began to laugh uproariously. "Your parents just left you," said the stationmaster. "Why are you laughing?" "They came to see me off!"

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An old man in a nursing home awoke one day and trundled down the hallway to the community breakfast room looking rather forlorn. Ms. Smith, a nurse, met him in the hallway. She greeted him smilingly and asked how he was this day. Mr. Jones allowed that not all was well; in fact, his penis had died during the night. Ms. Smith knew that Mr. Jones was occasionally a little off mentally, so she merely replied that she was sorry to hear the bad news and went on her way. The next morning Mr. Jones was on his way to breakfast again but on this day he was dressed in a coat and tie, and his penis was hanging out of his pants. Sure enough, he met Ms. Smith whereupon -- although somewhat startled -- she calmly reminded him that the day before he had told her his penis had died and asked why it was hanging out of his pants. Mr. Jones replied simply, "Today is the viewing."

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A 90 year man finally gets to see a Dr. and the dr. asks him what the problem is, the man says he wants the Dr. to lower his sex drive. The Dr. is taken aback a bit but finally asks the man, just how old are you? The man answers I am 90. The Dr., still a little confused says you are 90, and you want your sex drive lowered? Yes said the man, it's all in my head and I want you to lower it.

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1) Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator? Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.

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What do you call the rabbit up the elephant's sweater ? Terrified !

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What did the farmer say when his fat pig wouldn't fit into the pen? "There's more there than meets the sty."

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What jumps up and down in front of a car ? Froglights !

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Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead. It's called a garbage compactor.

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Q: How does Al Gore spell potato? A: T-A-T-E-R.

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What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider? A harenet.

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Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!

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Q: what's a biologists definition of a graph A: an animal with a long neck

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Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer? A: The joystick is wet.

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Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ? A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

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What do cannibal say when they say grace? ''We thank you,Lord, for our daily dead!''

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Another friend of mine is a very successful businessman. He started with five thousand pounds - now he owes fifty-five million.

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The man who was about to die said to the Sheriff, "Say, do I really have to die swinging from a tree?" "Course not," replied the Sheriff. "We just put the rope round your neck and kick the horse away. After that it's up to you."

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