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Elephant jokes

How
do you get an elephant into a
matchbox ?
Take all the matches out first !

 

What food is good for the brain? Noodle soup.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Blair ! Blair who ? Blair play !

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The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

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Do you know the time ? No, we haven't met yet !

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Why was the lion-tamer fined ? He parked on a yellow lion !

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CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig shake? WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.

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A fireman and policeman died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning that if they had even one bad thought their wings would fall off. Well, everything went well for some time then one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady. As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off. When he bent over to pick them up the policemans wings fell off.

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What will santa bring your fish this christmas? A scale letrix!

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Doctor, doctor, can you give me something for my baldness? How about a few pounds of pig manure? Will that cure my baldness? No, but with that on your head no one will come near enough to notice you're bald.

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What famous chiropodist ruled England ? William the Corn-cutter!

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Arbus ! Arbus who ? Arbus leaves in 5 minutes ?

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bea ! Bea who ? Beacause I'm worth it !

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A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted. "Darling, it was just a shark," said his wife when he came to. "You've got to stop imagining that there are lawyers everywhere."

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Fred: "Why are you so upset?" Harry: "My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning." Fred: "So what?" Harry: "So she said to him, 'Doctor, this is my husband. You know, one of the men I've been telling you about'."

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What lights up a football stadium ? A football match !

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How do hurricanes see? -With one eye

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Why do elephants do well in school ? Because they have a lot of grey matter !

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What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? - Quattro Sink-o

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What language do they speak in Cuba ? Cubic !

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What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner? Thank you, I'll just have a slither.

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