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Elephant jokes

How
do you get an elephant into a
matchbox ?
Take all the matches out first !

 

What equine likes to cut in line? A sawhorse!

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Duayne met Patricia Ann from Birmingham at a Tus-caloosa ballroom. They danced every dance together. When the evening was over, he asked if he could see her next time he was in town. "Yes," replied Patricia Ann shyly. The young man hurriedly took out his pad and pencil and asked, "What's your number?" "CApitol 4-6173." After a long embarrassed pause, Duayne asked, "How do yew make a capital 4?"

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What can a monster do that you can't do? Count up to 25 on his fingers.

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Where did the piglets study their ABC's? At a school for higher loining.

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"Dad, can you write in the dark?" "I think so. What is it you want me to write?" "Your name on this report card."

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"Waiter, waiter,there's a hand in my soup." "That's not your soup, sir, that's your finger bowl."

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CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig shake? WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.

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What does a witch do if her broom is stolen ? She calls the flying squad !

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Q:What should Iraq get for its air defense system? A:A refund.

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Who writes books for little bees ? Bee-trix Potter !

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Q. How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish? A. When he goes to confession, he takes a lawyer with him.

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"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

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How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

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Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches.

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Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter." Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man. God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him!" Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line? The man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."

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What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Amelia ! Amelia who ? Amelia a package last week - did you get it ? !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Conga ! Conga who? Conga go on meeting like this !

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A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his best friend in bed. The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says, "My God Pete !!! I more-or-less 'have to', but YOU ???"

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How old is your Grandma? I dunno, but we've had him a long time.

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