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Elephant jokes

How
do you get an elephant into a
matchbox ?
Take all the matches out first !

 

There was a huge fire at a big city soda factory. The city company was losing ground and the owner was frantic. He told the fire department that he needed a secret formula in the safe that was in the center of the blaze, and he would give 10,000 dollars to the department that got the formula. An hour later no ground was gained and a mutual aid call was put out. When 12 departments couldn't subdue the blaze the owner saw this he raised the reward to 100,000 dollars. Suddenly a small town department drove their truck right into the fire and emerged 10 minutes later with the formula. When asked what they would do with the money one said, "Get them damn brakes fixed we figure."

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Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

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What is a horses favourite kind of party? A stall ball.

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Q. What did dela wear?(Delaware) A. Her New Jersey

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Did you hear about the stupid water-polo player? His horse drowned . . .

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Why are mosquitoes annoying? Because they get under your skin.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Chloe ! Chloe who ? Chloe's Encounters of the Third Kind !

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How can you double your money? Look at it in a mirror.

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Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

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Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety? Crumbs!

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Whats the world weakest animal ? A toad, he croaks if you even touch him !

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Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.

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Knock Knock Who's there ? Closure ! Closure who ? Closure mouth when you eat !

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The major difference between death and taxes is that Congress can't make death any worse than it is.

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What salesman has the slickest line? A hair grease salesman.

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Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour ? Pupil: Because it can't sit down !

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Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because it's out of the high rent district.

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Q: How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home? A: They put parking meters on the roof!

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Fred wrote in her homework book: Margarine is butter made from imitation cows.

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Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A. He didn't have the guts too

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