Elephant jokes
How
do you get an elephant into a
matchbox ?
Take all the matches out first !
| Q: Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look out the window in the morning? A: So they have something to do in the afternoon. |
| Two mosquitoes were buzzing round when they saw a drunken man. One said to the other, "You bite him ? I'm driving." |
| Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again. |
| What do you call an unusual rabbit? A rare hare. |
| Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot. |
| When do vampires bite you? On Wincedays. |
| Q: How do you take census in a Polish village? A: Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and subtract one for the Jew who catches it. |
| Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones? Mrs Jones: Yes, very much. Girl: That's funny. My mom said you didn't have any taste. |
| What did the great Ape say as he plummeted from the skyscraper? Listen baby, I think I'm falling for you! |
| Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires? Because he liked to see new blood in the business. |
| What is the opposite of a cold front? -A warm back |
| What's the witches favourite pop group ? Broomski Beat ! |
| Yo mama so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide. |
| Why are elephants wiser than chickens ? Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant ?! |
| How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level. |
| What do you use to cut the ocean? A seasaw |
| Knock Knock Who's there ! Bargain ! Bargain who ? Bargain up the wrong tree ! |
| Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up. |
| What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula. |
| Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler. |
