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Food jokes

What sort of soup do
skeletons like?
One
with plenty of body in it.

 

Doctor, doctor, can you give me something for my baldness? How about a few pounds of pig manure? Will that cure my baldness? No, but with that on your head no one will come near enough to notice you're bald.

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What famous chiropodist ruled England ? William the Corn-cutter!

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Arbus ! Arbus who ? Arbus leaves in 5 minutes ?

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bea ! Bea who ? Beacause I'm worth it !

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A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted. "Darling, it was just a shark," said his wife when he came to. "You've got to stop imagining that there are lawyers everywhere."

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Fred: "Why are you so upset?" Harry: "My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning." Fred: "So what?" Harry: "So she said to him, 'Doctor, this is my husband. You know, one of the men I've been telling you about'."

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What lights up a football stadium ? A football match !

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How do hurricanes see? -With one eye

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What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner? Thank you, I'll just have a slither.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ? Enough drumsticks to feed an army !

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The Judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" "I do." "Now what do you say to defend yourself?" "Your Honor, under those limitations... nothing."

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Where is the best place to hide a lawyer? In a brief case.

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What goes eek, eek, bang? A mouse in a minefield !

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What's a rabbits' favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback!

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Teacher: Why do you want to work in a bank, Alan? Fred: 'Cuz there's money in it, sir.

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How does Dracula like to have his food served? In bite-sized pieces.

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How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!

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Yo momma so bald head she put a weave cap on and it weave her cull

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yo mama so fat she sat on a tractor and made it a pick-up truck.

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How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!

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