advertisements

Food jokes

What sort of soup do
skeletons like?
One
with plenty of body in it.

 

Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!

Read more!

What happened at the cannibal's wedding party? They toasted the bride and groom.

Read more!

advertisements
advertisements

How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Read more!

How do you get four old ladies to say the F word? Have the fifth one say.... BINGO!

Read more!

Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world? It has 4 rabbits' feet.

Read more!

Q: What did one math book say to the other? A: Man I got a lot of problems!

Read more!

Why was the student witch so bad at essays? Because she couldn't spell properly.

Read more!

One Halloween this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, with golden blond curly hair and the biggest blue eyes. She was dressed as an Angel, and was just delightful. The woman said, "what are you supposed to say sweetheart?" The little girl looks up at the woman and says "Twick or Tweat!" The woman thinks this is just adorable, and she calls her husband to come to the door. The woman say to the child, "Go ahead honey say it just one more time." Once again the little Angel looks up and says, "Twick or Tweat!" The husband agrees with his wife, this little Angel is just the cutest thing. The woman picks an apple from the Treat Bowl, shines it up with her apron, and drops it into the little girl's Treat Bag. The little Angel looks in her bag then looks up at the woman and says, "Thanks a lot lady, you just broke my f**king cookies!"

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Argo ! Argo who ? Argo down the shops ! Kn

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Bully ! Bully who ? Bully Jean is not my lover !

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Caesar ! Caesar who ? Caesar quickly before she gets away !

Read more!

Q: What has dual airbags and has lots of room? A: The White House.

Read more!

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion. "What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi. "Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest. "Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi. "Well, next I can become Arch-Bishop." said the Priest. "Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi. "If I work real hard and do a good job as Arch-Bishop, it's possible for me to become a full Bishop." said the Priest. "O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi. The Priest, begining to get a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal." "And then?" asked the Rabbi. The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope." "Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi. "Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?" "Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"

Read more!

How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ? You wake up wet !

Read more!

An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide: "How large is the population here?" "Around 1.5 billion" -- the guide answers American, After a short pause: "So, what else do you do here?"

Read more!

What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? -Hurricanes with cataracts

Read more!

How do you address a monster? Very politely.

Read more!

Do you know what a mice said when it saw a bat? Mom ! I see an angel.

Read more!

Q.How is a heart like a musician? A.They both have a beat :)

Read more!

Come here, you greedy wretch. I'll teach you to eat all your sister's birthday chocs. It's all right Dad, I know how !

Read more!