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Food jokes

What sort of soup do
skeletons like?
One
with plenty of body in it.

 

What vegetable needs a plumber? A leek.

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Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!

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Kowalski and Janzek left Hamtramack and went out in the woods looking for Christmas trees. They looked all day without any luck. Near nightfall Kowalski finally said, "Janzek, I'm takin' the next tree we come to, whether it has lights on it or not!"

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Knock Knock Who's there ? Cotton ! Cotton who ? Cotton a trap !

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Q: What is the best Iraqi job ? A: Foreign Ambassador

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What do you call a pig with the flu? A swine swine.

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A police man was on duty one night and he headed up to "Make out Mountain" to try to catch some couples in the act. When he got up there he stopped at the first car where a couple sat, and was surprised to see the man was reading and the girl next to him was knitting. He tapped on the window and said he was with the police department then asked how old he was and the guy said, "I'm 22 sir." "Well how old is she?" the officer then asked. Looking at his watch the guy replied, "She'll be 18 in about 6 minutes."

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Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!

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How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bridget ! Bridget who ? London Bridget, is falling down, falling down... !

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Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

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Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape? A: The baritone.

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What was the name of the hog who was knighted by King Arthur? Sir Lunchalot.

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Why was the pig unhappy in the Minors? Because he wants to play in the Pig Leagues.

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On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said, "What's a four -letter word ending in "unt" which means "woman"? The bishop said, "Did you try "aunt"? The Pope said, "Mmmm. Do you have an eraser?"

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A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?" And he replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"

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Teacher: You're new here aren't you, what's your name? Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith

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Teacher: Didn't you hear me call you? Pupil: But you said not to answer you back!

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Did you hear about the doctor who crossed a parrot with a vampire ? It bit his neck, sucked his blood, and said, 'Who's a pretty boy then ?'!

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Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make. Waiter: They are. She couldn't cook either.

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