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Food jokes

What sort of soup do
skeletons like?
One
with plenty of body in it.

 

Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

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What is a horses favourite kind of party? A stall ball.

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Q. What did dela wear?(Delaware) A. Her New Jersey

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Did you hear about the stupid water-polo player? His horse drowned . . .

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Why are mosquitoes annoying? Because they get under your skin.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Chloe ! Chloe who ? Chloe's Encounters of the Third Kind !

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How can you double your money? Look at it in a mirror.

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Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

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Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety? Crumbs!

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Whats the world weakest animal ? A toad, he croaks if you even touch him !

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Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.

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Knock Knock Who's there ? Closure ! Closure who ? Closure mouth when you eat !

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The major difference between death and taxes is that Congress can't make death any worse than it is.

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What salesman has the slickest line? A hair grease salesman.

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Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour ? Pupil: Because it can't sit down !

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Fred wrote in her homework book: Margarine is butter made from imitation cows.

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Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A. He didn't have the guts too

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What does a monster do when he loses his head? He calls a head hunter.

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MONSTER MOTHER: How many times have I told you not to eat with your fingers? Use the spade like everyone else.

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Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder? A: You can't!

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