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Food jokes

What sort of soup do
skeletons like?
One
with plenty of body in it.

 

Did you hear about the stupid Kamikaze pilot ? He flew 57 missions !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Alaska ! Alaska who ? Alaska my mummy !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Alligator ! Alligator who ? Alligator for her birthday was a card !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Anthony ! Anthony who ! Anthony you want !

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Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ? A. Nothing, yet.

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Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Sit in the back and don't play.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bass ! Bass who ? Bass the salt and pepper please !

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There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."

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What do you call a 100 year old frog ? An old croak !

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Look at that bald man over there. It's the first time I've seen a parting with ears.

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Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America ? On their feet !

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Why do little boys whine? Because they're practicing to be men.

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What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?- A wash and wear wolf

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Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?" "I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests." "I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?" "Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."

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Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.

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Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

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Yo mama's so fat, when she was in school she sat next to everybody!

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What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom? Answer: Odor, Odor in the court!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Catskills ! Catskills who ? Catskills mice !

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A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The Frenchman offered everyone some of his baguette, then threw it out the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from." The Englishman offered everyone a crumpet, then threw the rest out of the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from." Then the American threw the lawyer out the window, saying...

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