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Waiter jokes

Waiter,
waiter, do you have frog's
legs?
Certainly, Sir!
Well hop over here and get me a sandwich!

 

Mega Bites by Amos Quito

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Why did the cowboy get a hot seat? Because he rode the range.

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Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home? A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.

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What dog would you want on your American football team? A golden receiver!

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What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill ? "Pack your trunk and clear out !"

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What do you get if you cross an elephant with the abominable snowman? A jumbo yeti.

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Two parrots are sitting on a perch. The first one says to the other "can you smell fish?".

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Did you hear about the ghost who learnt to fly? He was pleased to be back on terror-firma.

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What is a ghost's favorite Wild West town? Tombstone.

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Q: What are the three types of men? A: The handsome, the caring, and the majority.

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What do you call a pig who overacts? A ham ham.

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The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had. He goes up to the girl and says, "Little girl, I think that it's wonderful that you're doing such a good thing." The little girl says, "Thank you, Mr. Clinton. Would you like a puppy? They're Democrats." Bill declines and jogs onward. The next day Billy jogs past the same girl and decides to talk to her again. "You know what, little girl? I think I'll take one of those puppies after all, seeing as how they're Democrats." The girl says, "I'm sorry Mr. Clinton, but they're not Democrats any more. They're Republican now." Bill says, "They are? How do you know? As a matter of fact, how did you know that they were Democrats at first to begin with?" She says, "Well, just after they were born they were Democrats, but now their eyes are open."

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What do you call a rabbit with no clothes on? A bare hare.

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Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells.

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There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Barbie-Got-Run-Over-by-a-Reindeer ...an excellent Holiday gift idea

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Q: Why are blondes like corn flakes? A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

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Q. What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

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Why do elephants have trunks ? Because they've no pockets to put things in !

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An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant -- first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, "Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!"

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What do you call a man with a large flatfish on his head? Ray!

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