Funny jokes - 50 best jokes
A minister gave a talk to the
Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he couldn't
tell his wife
that he had spoken about sex, so he said he had discussed
horseback
riding with the members.
A few days later, she ran into some men at
the shopping center and they
complimented her on the speech her
husband had made.
She said, "Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the
subject matter, as
he's only
tried it twice. The first time he
got so sore he could hardly walk, and
the
second time he fell
off."
| A man works in the operations department of a large bank. Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers. One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" |
| A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit. They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature. The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh i know." So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved. Then dissapered over it. The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?" His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave." |
| Solving the Mystery by Ivor Clew |
| First cannibal: I can't find anything to eat! Second cannibal: But the jungle's full of people. First cannibal: Yes, but they're all very unsavory. |
| What would you have if your car's motor was in flames? A fire engine. |
| How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eye |
| What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow ? Slush puppies ! |
| Q: How do you take census in a Polish village? A: Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and subtract one for the Jew who catches it. |
| Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones? Mrs Jones: Yes, very much. Girl: That's funny. My mom said you didn't have any taste. |
| What did the great Ape say as he plummeted from the skyscraper? Listen baby, I think I'm falling for you! |
| Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires? Because he liked to see new blood in the business. |
| What is the opposite of a cold front? -A warm back |
| What's the witches favourite pop group ? Broomski Beat ! |
| Yo mama so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide. |
| What do you call an aardvark that's been thrown out of a pub? A barredvark! |
| Two owls were playing pool. One said, "Two hits." The other replied, "Two hits to who?" |
| Horror Stories by R. U. Scared |
| Q: What does Bill Clinton have in common with former great Presidents? A: Absolutely nothing. |
| What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ? Something from another universe -ity ! |
| What is a dentist's office? A filling station. |
