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Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

A minister gave a talk to the

Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he couldn't
tell his wife
that he had spoken about sex, so he said he had discussed
horseback
riding with the members.

A few days later, she ran into some men at
the shopping center and they
complimented her on the speech her
husband had made.

She said, "Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the
subject matter, as
he's only
tried it twice. The first time he
got so sore he could hardly walk, and
the
second time he fell
off."

 

What do you call an aardvark astronaut? A starredvark!

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Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"

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What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and flies? A dead cat.

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Father: Don't you feel better now that you've gone to the dentist? Son: Sure do. He wasn't in.

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Q: What did the blind blonde say as she was making love with her new boyfriend? A: "Funny, you don't feel Jewish."

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What is the difference between Russian Optimist, Pessimist and Realist? An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

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Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!

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How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bridget ! Bridget who ? London Bridget, is falling down, falling down... !

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Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

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Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape? A: The baritone.

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What was the name of the hog who was knighted by King Arthur? Sir Lunchalot.

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Why was the pig unhappy in the Minors? Because he wants to play in the Pig Leagues.

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On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said, "What's a four -letter word ending in "unt" which means "woman"? The bishop said, "Did you try "aunt"? The Pope said, "Mmmm. Do you have an eraser?"

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A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

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Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers licence ? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!

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Why did your sister jump out the window ? Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit

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Q: What do you call a credit union volunteer in a room full of bank directors? A: A superior being.

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat ? When your a mouse !

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Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises.

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