Funny jokes - 50 best jokes
Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out
of Washington for New York. One
sat in the window seat, the other in
the middle seat. Just before
takeoff a fat, little Israeli guy got
on and took the aisle seat next to the
Arabs. He kicked off his
shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in
when the Arab in the
window seat said, "I think I'll go up and get a
coke."
"No
problem," said the Israeli. "I'll get it for you." While he
was gone,
the Arab picked up the Israeli's shoe and spit in it. When the
Israeli returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good.
I think I'll have one too."
Again, the Israeli obligingly
went to fetch it, and while he is gone
the Arab other picked up the
other shoe and spit in it. The Israeli
returned with the coke, and
they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight
to New York.
As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoe
s
and knew immediately what had happened.
"How long must
this go on?" he asked. "This enmity between our
peoples..... this
hatred... this animosity... this spitting in shoes and
peeing in
cokes?"
| A man works in the operations department of a large bank. Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers. One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" |
| A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit. They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature. The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh i know." So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved. Then dissapered over it. The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?" His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave." |
| Solving the Mystery by Ivor Clew |
| First cannibal: I can't find anything to eat! Second cannibal: But the jungle's full of people. First cannibal: Yes, but they're all very unsavory. |
| What would you have if your car's motor was in flames? A fire engine. |
| How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eye |
| What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow ? Slush puppies ! |
| Q: How do you take census in a Polish village? A: Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and subtract one for the Jew who catches it. |
| Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones? Mrs Jones: Yes, very much. Girl: That's funny. My mom said you didn't have any taste. |
| What did the great Ape say as he plummeted from the skyscraper? Listen baby, I think I'm falling for you! |
| Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires? Because he liked to see new blood in the business. |
| What is the opposite of a cold front? -A warm back |
| What's the witches favourite pop group ? Broomski Beat ! |
| Yo mama so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide. |
| What do you call an aardvark that's been thrown out of a pub? A barredvark! |
| Two owls were playing pool. One said, "Two hits." The other replied, "Two hits to who?" |
| Horror Stories by R. U. Scared |
| Q: What does Bill Clinton have in common with former great Presidents? A: Absolutely nothing. |
| What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ? Something from another universe -ity ! |
| What is a dentist's office? A filling station. |
