Funny jokes - 50 best jokes
Why were ancient Egyptian
children confused?
Because their daddies were mummies.
| Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana ? |
| Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit ? They are both ginger nuts ! |
| Q: What's Clinton's favorite baseball team? A: The Dodgers. |
| Question: What do elephants use for tampoons? Answer: Sheep. |
| How many seasons are there in a dogs life ? Just one, the moulting season ! |
| What has long ears, four legs, and is worn on your head? An Easter bunnet! |
| Why are fish cleverer than humans? Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human? |
| At the end of camp, Julie won the prize for neatest trunk. Her mother was amazed. 'How did your trunk get so neat?' she asked her messy daughter. 'It was easy,' said Julie. 'I just never unpacked!' |
| A man had a nose ring fitted into his nose, a friend asked, "how much did you pay for that?" "I paid through the nose!" he replied |
| Men are like chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips. |
| Two paratrooper recruits in a plane: - Are you crazy, Vasily? You are going to jump without a parachute. - Is it mandatory to wear it? - Sure. It's raining outside. |
| A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead. The musician calls back 25 times more and gets the same message from receptionist. She asks why he keeps calling. He replies, "I just like to hear you say it." |
| Why didn't the dog want to play football ? It was a boxer ! |
| What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? -Hurricanes with cataracts |
| If you didn't get caught, did you really do it? |
| Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON? |
| What three letters in the alphabet frighten criminals? F.B.I. |
| What's long, hard, and has semen in it? A submarine! |
| A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked "Did I just see you swallow something?" "Yep, that was my birth control pill." said the driver. "Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman. "Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was fucked." |
| Harry approached a prostitute and asked, "How much for a blow job ?". "Hundred Bucks". "OK", he said and began to jerk off. "What the hell are you doing that for?" "For hundred bucks you don't think I'm going to give you the easy one, do you ?" |
