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Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

YOUR SO BALD THAT WHEN YOU WHERE

A TURTLENECK YOU LOOK LIKE A ROLL ON DEODORANT.

 

One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam. All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."

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What goes 'peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang' ? A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons !

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Grandma, is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.

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Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?

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The Untamed Tiger by Claudia Armoff

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The Naughty Schoolboy by Enid Spanking

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What is an autograph? A chart which shows car sales.

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One night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. "George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked. "Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," advised George. The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. "Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked. "Cut taxes and reduce the size of government," advised Tom. Clinton didn't sleep well the next night, and saw yet another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost. "Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked. Abe replied, "Go to the theater."

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Q: Why is Bill infuriated with Chelsea's new private school? A: They broke family tradition by making her wear a uniform.

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What do naked fish play with ? Bare-a-cudas !

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What is the wasps' favorite song? Just a Spoonful of Sugar.

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How did the telephones get married ? In a double ring ceremony !

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What do polar bears have for lunch ? Ice burger !

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Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

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Zoo visitor: What's the new baby hippo's name? Hippopotamus keeper: I don't know, he won't tell me.

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It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and bellied up to the bar. "What will you have?" the bartender asked. "I'll have a glass of blood," the first replied. "I'll have a glass of blood, too, please," said the second. "I'll have a glass of plasma," said the third. "OK, let me get this straight," the bartender said. "That'll be two bloods and a blood light?"

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Did you hear why they closed the Seattle Kingdom? While the crowd was doing the wave, two blondes drowned.

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Which burgers can tell your fortune? Medium burgers!

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What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit? Hare in your milk!

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What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth taken out? The dentist.

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