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Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

A little boy walked
down the
aisle at a wedding. As he made his way to the front, he would
take
two steps, then stop, and turn to the crowd, alternating between

the bride's side and the groom's side. While facing the crowd, he would

put his hands up like claws and roar. And so it went-step, step,
ROAR,
step, step, ROAR-all the way down the aisle.
As you can
imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by
the time he
reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and
more distressed from all
the laughing, and he was near tears by the
time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child
sniffed back his tears and
said, "I was being the ring bear."

 

Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue? Because they can't dress themselves.

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A math student who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle. "Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know. "It's a `thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..." "Tell us!" "Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!'" One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"

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As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, "Have you just gotten out of prison?" "Yeah," the guy replied. "How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have sex from the rear?" "Partly." She said. "But more because when we finished, you ran around in front of me, bent over, and shouted, 'YOUR TURN.'"

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Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

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Why is it called a "litter" of puppies ? Because they mess up the whole house !

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Why did the dog's owner think his dog was a great mathematician? When he asked the dog what six minus six was, the dog said nothing.

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Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun? Because she had her nose in a hamburger.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Caroline ! Caroline who ? Caroline of rope with you !

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A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference: "Many say the only reason why you would be elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father." "That notion is ridiculous!" mocked George Jr. "It doesn't matter how powerful the man is. He can only vote once!"

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What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits' home? A search warren!

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What do you call an alien surfing the Internet? e-t.

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What does a basketball player do before he blows out his candles? He makes a swish!

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What is a goal keepers favourite snack ? Beans on post !

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Do you know how to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!

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Yo Mama so fat she gives herself group hugs!

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Q. Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes? A. To remind her that "toes go in first."

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Why is an old car like a baby playing? Because it goes with a rattle.

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Why are clouds like jockeys? Because they hold the reins!

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Mike and Pat went hunting. Mike saw a large goose fly by. He raised his rifle to shoot. 'Don't waste your time,' Pat hollered. 'The rifle is not loaded.' 'I can't wait,' Mike shouted back. 'The bird will be gone if I take the time to load!'

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Boiler ! Boiler who ? Boiler egg for four minutes !

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