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Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

Why do women have
smaller
feet than men?

- It allows them to stand closer to the sink.

 

Did you hear about the girl monster who wasn't pretty and wasn't ugly ? She was pretty ugly

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN? A: Because she didn't know which one came first!

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Mother: Jared, get your little sister's hat out of that puddle. Jared: I can't mum, she's got it strapped too tight under her chin!

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Cannibal: Mom, mom, I've been eating a missionary and I feel sick ! Mom: Well, you know what they say - you can't keep a good man down !

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Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because it's out of the high rent district.

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Q: How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home? A: They put parking meters on the roof!

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Fred wrote in her homework book: Margarine is butter made from imitation cows.

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Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A. He didn't have the guts too

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What does a monster do when he loses his head? He calls a head hunter.

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MONSTER MOTHER: How many times have I told you not to eat with your fingers? Use the spade like everyone else.

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Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder? A: You can't!

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A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.

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If athletes get athlete's foot, then what do astronauts get? Missile toe.

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Do you know how to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!

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How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink!

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What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands? He brought it to school and said, 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

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There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Werewolf Barbie ...normal doll, except under a full moon

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Where do the cleverest parrots live? In the brain tree forests!

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How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land baseball? He throws four meatballs!

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Q: What's a cat's second favorite food? - A: Spa-catti!

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