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Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

Why do women have
smaller
feet than men?

- It allows them to stand closer to the sink.

 

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Barbie-Got-Run-Over-by-a-Reindeer ...an excellent Holiday gift idea

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Q: Why are blondes like corn flakes? A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

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Q. What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

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Why do elephants have trunks ? Because they've no pockets to put things in !

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An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant -- first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, "Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!"

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What do you call a man with a large flatfish on his head? Ray!

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Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!

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Who started the campfire website? Some bright spark.

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What should you do if you are on a picnic with King Kong? Give him the biggest bananas.

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A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband's feet. "Are you hurt?" he asked. "Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once!"

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Q: How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, the constitution says that only Congress can screw in light bulbs, so only Congress is responsible for the dark, which is why we need a Constitutional ammendment. A: Only one. If he can handle 250000000 people a day I think he can handle screwing one extra lightbulb.

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A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

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What's a snakes favourite TV program ? Monty Python!

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Why does frost not like to lay out in the sun? -It burns too easily

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How does a male lightning bolt feel when he notices an attractive female lightning bolt? Thunderstruck

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What are the aardvark's favorite Beatle's songs? It's Been an Aards Day's Night and I Want to Hold Your Ant!

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The Joys of Horse-riding by Jim Kama

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Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden ? Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

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Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Reagan ate all the jellybeans.

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"Did you hear? Lament's gettin' a Ph.D." "What does Ph.D. stand for?" "in his case, Pin-headed Dope."

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