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Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

Why are
teachers happy at
Halloween parties?
Because there's lots of school spirit!

 

Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit ? They are both ginger nuts !

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What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.

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Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee Buzz off can't you see I'm busy?

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Who is the dogs favourite comedian ? Growlcho Marx !

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What kind of dog doesn't do well in hot weather? A faint Bernard!

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What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant ? An animal that tells you everything that it remembers !

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What vegetable needs a plumber? A leek.

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Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!

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Kowalski and Janzek left Hamtramack and went out in the woods looking for Christmas trees. They looked all day without any luck. Near nightfall Kowalski finally said, "Janzek, I'm takin' the next tree we come to, whether it has lights on it or not!"

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Knock Knock Who's there ? Cotton ! Cotton who ? Cotton a trap !

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Q: What is the best Iraqi job ? A: Foreign Ambassador

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What do you call a pig with the flu? A swine swine.

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A police man was on duty one night and he headed up to "Make out Mountain" to try to catch some couples in the act. When he got up there he stopped at the first car where a couple sat, and was surprised to see the man was reading and the girl next to him was knitting. He tapped on the window and said he was with the police department then asked how old he was and the guy said, "I'm 22 sir." "Well how old is she?" the officer then asked. Looking at his watch the guy replied, "She'll be 18 in about 6 minutes."

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What do you call an aardvark astronaut? A starredvark!

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Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"

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What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and flies? A dead cat.

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Father: Don't you feel better now that you've gone to the dentist? Son: Sure do. He wasn't in.

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Q: What did the blind blonde say as she was making love with her new boyfriend? A: "Funny, you don't feel Jewish."

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What is the difference between Russian Optimist, Pessimist and Realist? An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

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Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!

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