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Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

Yo Momma is so
ugly that she
scares blind people!!!!

 

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Teenage Mutant Ninja Barbie ...one of the Turtles with Barbie head

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Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night.

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A Japanese guy is at Los Angeles International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to Japan. While he's waiting, he goes to the currency exchange counter to change his remaining dollars. He counts his money at the counter. "Wait a minute," he says to the clerk, "When I came here I got more dollars for my yen. What's going on here?" "Fluctuations." says the clerk. The Japanese man stiffens. "Well! Fluck you Americans, too!"

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What did the cat say when he lost all his money ? I'm paw !

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Why do hunters make the best lovers? Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot.

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Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot. Don't worry it's just a chain reaction!

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How can you tell a dog from an elephant? The elephant remembers.

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What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes? Get a small hankie!

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Boise ! Boise who ? Boise ivy !

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How can you tell if a man is cheating on you? He has a bath more than once a month.

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What do pigs like with chow mein? Sooey sauce.

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Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds.

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I'm not going back to school ever again Why ever not? The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions!

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Laugh and the class laughs with you. But you get detention alone !

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Little boy to airline pilot: "You're a pilot?!?!? That must be exciting." Pilot: "Not if I do it right."

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Why do ducks have webbed feet ? To stamp out forest fires !

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The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. "For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."

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Policeman: Why didn't you obey that stop sign? Driver: I don't believe everything I read.

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What kind of thief steals meat? A hamburglar.

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Did you hear about the two podiatrists who opened their offices on the same street? They were arch enemies.

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