advertisements

Letter jokes

What word grows smaller when you add two

letters to it?
Add "er" to short and it becomes shorter.

 

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day? Cupigs!

Read more!

Police Chief: Why did you arrest that doctor? Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

Read more!

advertisements
advertisements

If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left ? I don't know. Why not ? In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges.

Read more!

What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers ? Fang letters !

Read more!

Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.

Read more!

CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.

Read more!

A little old lady walked into the bank, cashed a small check, and started out. Passing the armed guard, she smiled and said, "You can go home now."

Read more!

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?" And he replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"

Read more!

If the State of the Union is really "the best it's ever been" Why do we "need" dozens of new government programs to fix it!

Read more!

Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space? Because there is no atmosphere!

Read more!

1st Witch: What's your new boyfriend like ? 2nd Witch: He's mean, nasty, ugly, smelly and totally evil - but he has some bad points too !

Read more!

Fred: I haven't slept a wink for the past two nights. Harry: Why's that? Fred: Granny broke her leg. The doctor put it in plaster and told her she shouldn't walk upstairs. You should hear the row when she climbs up the drainpipe.

Read more!

Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip and asked her husband, "How did Greg do on his history exam?" "Oh, not so good," he replied. "But it wasn't his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was born!"

Read more!

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually. So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open. The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger i n the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

Read more!

How can you double your money? Look at it in a mirror.

Read more!

Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Read more!

The major difference between death and taxes is that Congress can't make death any worse than it is.

Read more!

What salesman has the slickest line? A hair grease salesman.

Read more!

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour ? Pupil: Because it can't sit down !

Read more!

What does a monster do when he loses his head? He calls a head hunter.

Read more!