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Letter jokes

Which two letters of the alphabet are

nothing?
MT (empty) .

 

Q.How is a heart like a musician? A.They both have a beat :)

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Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games? So that they can pack the defence!

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What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands? A pocket watch.

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How do you hire a teddy bear? Put him on stilts !

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How are tigers like sergeants in the army ? They both wear stripes !

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Witch l: "How do you manage to stay in shape?" Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."

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Q. Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? A. So they can find their way back to the house.

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What do you call a mammoth who conducts an orchestra? Tuskanini.

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Are you in the top half of your class ? No, I'm one of the students who make the top half possible !

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Why did the chicken walk on the telephone wire? She wanted to lay it on the line!

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Q: How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven; one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.

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Yo Mama so dumb she put lipstick on her fore-head to make up her mind.

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What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

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At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."

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Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that? Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday !

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Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?" Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question? Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"

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Why is a toothless dog like a tree? It has more bark than bite.

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Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

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Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through." He walked out to the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around and came back, explaining, "I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress. Maybe you'd better go talk to them." The second man walked toward the ladies, go halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back. He smiled sheepishly and said, "Small World!"

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What's the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home.

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