Letter jokes
Which two letters of the alphabet are
nothing?
MT (empty) .
| Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again. |
| What do you call an unusual rabbit? A rare hare. |
| Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot. |
| When do vampires bite you? On Wincedays. |
| Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires? Because he liked to see new blood in the business. |
| What is the opposite of a cold front? -A warm back |
| What's the witches favourite pop group ? Broomski Beat ! |
| Yo mama so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide. |
| Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up. |
| What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula. |
| Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green. Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green. The old man steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and heads for the water trap. But, just before it falls into the water, a fish jumps up and grabs the ball in its mouth. As the fish is falling back down into the water, an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in its claws. The eagle flies over the green where a lightning bolt shoots from the sky and barely misses it. Startled, the eagle drops the fish. When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops out of its mouth and rolls into the hole for a hole-in -one. Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you don't stop fooling around, we won't bring you next time." |
| Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life |
| Why was the broom late ? It over swept ! |
| Q: What's the definition of a nerd? A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet. |
| Q.How is a heart like a musician? A.They both have a beat :) |
| How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed? You can smell the carrots on his breath. |
| Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all. Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. "Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! Goldblum! The ashtrays in your temple so My people could smoke while the Torah was being read???" Goldblum shuddered. God went on. "I can live with that. Men are weak, but the Word is strong!" Goldblum sighed with relief. "Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but really: serving Ham Sandwiches to the devout at the temple during Yom Kippur?" Bauman hung his head in shame. "Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that which is not Kosher. I'm not pleased at all with the playing fast and loose with my peo ple, but I can accept these indiscretions." Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief. Finally, He turns to the third rabbi and says, "You, Rabinowitz, have gone too far! Am I asking too much? No, you flaunt the world at Me, even on the holiest days of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur by putting out a sign saying.... "Closed for the Holiday !!!" |
| Where does a snowman put his birthday candles? On his birthday flake! |
| Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it. |
| FIRST MONSTER: Am I late for dinner? SECOND MONSTER: Yes, everyone's been eaten. |
