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Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

What's the speed limit of
sex?
68; at 69 you have to turn around.

 

Q: How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just the one. You want to make something of it, eh?

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What dog loves to take bubble baths ? A shampoodle !

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How do we know that hamburgers love classic music? They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall!

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How do you insult a hamburger patty? Call it a meatball!

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Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ? They were both driving their cars at the time !

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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

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Why don't Purdue athletes eat pickles? They can't get their heads in the jar.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing an insect spinning around. Don't worry, it's just a bug that's going around!

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An American tourist was visiting a quaint country village, and got talking to a farmer in the local pub. "And have you lived here all your life, Sir?" asked the American. "Not yet, m'dear," said the farmer wisely.

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To whom do fish go to borrow money ? The loan shark !

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What would you get if you crossed a monster with a redcoat? A bigger target.

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What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time ? Cross mouse cards !

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Rabbit: I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I'm all out of carrots. What should I do? Friend: Don't worry; be hoppy!

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What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball ? A bouncing baby boa !

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What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old? A two-year-old vampire.

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Do steam rollers really roll steam?

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Does killing time damage eternity?

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The World of Vegetables by Artie Choak

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Romantic Remembrance by Valentine Card

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What happens if an axe falls on your car? You have an ax-i-dent (accident).

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