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Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

What's the speed limit of
sex?
68; at 69 you have to turn around.

 

Q: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde? A: It is the one with the kickstand.

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The Japenese Way of Death by Harri Kirri

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Your money or your life by Stan Den Deliver

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Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni

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What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree ? A cat-a-logue !

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What kind of cat should you take into the desert ? A first aid kitty !

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Dentist to parsimonious patient "No, we give no discount for empty spaces when cleaning and polishing teeth Mrs. Borde!"

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What do you do with old cannon balls ? Give them to elephants to use as marbles !

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Did you hear about the Oklahoma idiot who married an American Indian? They had a baby and wanted to name it to reflect both races. So they called it Running Dummy.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Aleta ! Aleta who ? Aleta from the tax man !

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The head doctors in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that one of their patients was potentially well. So they decide to test him and take him to the movies. When they get to the movie theater, there are signs of wet paint pointing to the benches. The doctors just sit down, but the patient puts a newspaper down first and then sits down. The doctors get all excited cause they think maybe he's in touch with reality now. So they ask him, " Why did you put the newspaper down first?" He answers, "So I'd be higher and have a better view."

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

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What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter? Coloured eggrolls!

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Teacher: What happened to your homework? Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.

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YO MAMA IS SO FAT WHEN YOU GO AROUND HER YOU GET LOST!

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The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. "Ever have an accident?" "Nope, nary a one." "None? You've never had any accidents." "Nope. Ain't never had one. Never." "Well, you said on this form you were bit by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?" "Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."

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Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-sitter instead).

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What did the hamburgers say to the butcher who acted on a TV show? Welcome back, Cutter!

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A lady walks into the dentist's office, takes off her underwear, sits down on the chair and spreads her legs wide open. "You must have made a mistake" says the shocked dentist, "The gynecologist's office is one level higher." To that the lady replies, "No mistake, you installed my husband's dentures last week, now you'll be the one getting them out."

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What did the great Ape say as he plummeted from the skyscraper? Listen baby, I think I'm falling for you!

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