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Snowman jokes

What do snowmen eat for lunch ?
Icebergers
!

 

A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?" "Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That," he added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? Time to get a new car.

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What cloud is so lazy because it will not get up? -Fog

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yo mama so stupid she worked at an m&m factory and threw out all the W's.

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Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!

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First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.

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Waiter: Why didn't you make all the food on that long order? Cook: Because I'm a short order cook.

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A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. "Now what should I do?" His mother has an idea. "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. " I was humiliated," he groaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes." " What's wrong with that?" asked his mother. " We hadn't started eating yet."

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Customer: I'd like a watch that tells time. Clerk: Don't you have a watch that tells time? Customer: No, you have to look at it.

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I want to be an astronaut when I grow up. What high hopes you have !

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Why do artists never win when they play football ? They keep drawing !

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Two aliens landed in the remote countryside and went walking from the flying saucer along a narrow lane. The first thing they saw was a red pillar box. `Take us to your leader,' said the first alien. `Don't waste time talking to him. Can't you see he's only a child?' said the second alien.

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What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!

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Yo mama is so hairy, that Bigfoot tried to take her picture!

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What happened when the icicle landed on the sowmman's head? It knocked him cold.

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Why did the vampire go crazy at Burger King? He saw all that catsup and wanted a transfusion.

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Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

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What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen? Time to get it fixed.

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Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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If twenty dogs run after one cat, what time is it? Twenty after one.

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