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Snowman jokes

What do snowmen eat for lunch ?
Icebergers
!

 

A group of Texas A&M Aggies and a group of Harvard students had been deadlocked in a spelling bee for an entire week. At the end of the contest the score was tied and the judges had a dilemma. They told the contestants that each group was to quickly come up with a poem using the word 'Timbuktu.' Well the Aggiess started laughing the minute the word was uttered but Harvard just smiled and prepared their short rhyme. One Harvard student stood up and for his group recited 'Through the desert all night we ride on camels walking two by two, Destination Timbuktu.' Well the crowd politely applauded - they knew the Aggies couldnt beat that and the Aggies just continued laughing throughout the whole process. One Aggie stopped giggling long enough to stand and read the team's effort. He said, 'Tim and I, a hunting went, we came upon three women in a tent. Since they were three and we were two, I buk one and Timbuktu!'

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What comes out at night and goes Munch, munch, ouch! A vampire with a rotten tooth.

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Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

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What lights up a football stadium ? A football match !

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What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano? He said, "Darling, you've got lovely teeth."

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What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot? A bite in shining armor.

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Which insect didn't play well in goal? The fumble bee!

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How does a physicist exercise? By pumping ion!

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Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make. Waiter: They are. She couldn't cook either.

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Yo mama teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!

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What does a squid sheriff form? An octoposse!

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Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing? He could really get into the vaultz.

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Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

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Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run!

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Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

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How does a cheerleader answer the phone? H-E-L-L-O!

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Did you hear about the vampire who joined an orchestra? He stood on the roof and conducted lightning.

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Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

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One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"

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What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man? Tarzan stripes forever.

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