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Snowman jokes

What do snowmen eat for lunch ?
Icebergers
!

 

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final? Webley stadium!

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What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ? After a week he was spotless !

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First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.

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What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.

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Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for years. Diner: Well, bring me some you haven't had around for that long.

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Where do snowmen keep their money ? In a snowbank !

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What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other? Isaiah!

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Why did the alien phone home on his mobile? Because it was so ET !

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Witch: Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister ? Wizard: Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards ? Witch: No I wouldn't. Wizard: No, well nor will she.

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Yo mama so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

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I say waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Well throw him a doughnut - they make fantastic life belts!

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Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

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Your Momma's so black she got counted absent at night school.

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What do you think of Dracula films? Fangtastic!

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Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet? Player: I finished it in three days!

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Why do people beat their clocks? To kill time.

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Yo Mama so fat she gives herself group hugs!

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Waiter, I can't seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup. Would you expect to find angels in angel cake?

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A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!" The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?" "It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!" "Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?" "No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it." "Well, what if you hit it into the woods?" "Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed." "Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?" "No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!" The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?" "I found it."

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What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration? A party line!

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