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Sport jokes

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply
?
Paul gas coin !

 

What do you call a witch with one leg? Eileen.

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If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What's a tiger ? A stri-ped !

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Waiter, there is a bee in my alphabet soup ! Yes sir, and I'm sure there is an A, C and all the other letters too !

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What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot? A bite in shining armor.

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Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for years. Diner: Well, bring me some you haven't had around for that long.

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What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you? A phone moan.

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A huge American car screeched to a halt in a sleepy English village, and the driver called out to a local inhabitant, "Say, am I on the right road for Shakespeare's birthplace?" "Ay, straight on, sir," said the rustic, "but no need to hurry. He's dead."

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What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe ? A long necked toothbrush !

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A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her, and she gets mad, and he says, "Now what are you mad about?" says, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."

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What's the favorite subject of young witches at school? Spelling.

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A city boy was on his first camping trip. He was eating his lunch under a tree when an old-timer came along. 'It smells like rain,' he said to the boy. The city boy replied, 'They said it was lemonade.'

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Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.

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Waiter, there is a fly in my wine ! Well you did ask for something with a little body in it!

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"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Fred looking out of the kitchen window. "I know," said his mother. "I've just stepped in a poodle!"

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Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose? He was a ghoulsnif fer.

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Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

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Spell "pound" in two letters. Lb.

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What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands? A pocket watch.

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How do you spell elephant ? E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t "That's not how the dictionary spells it" "You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it !"

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Why did the termite eat a sofa and two chairs? It had a suite tooth.

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