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Sport jokes

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply
?
Paul gas coin !

 

Yo momma so bald head she put a weave cap on and it weave her cull

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yo mama so fat she sat on a tractor and made it a pick-up truck.

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What did the bumble bee striker say ? Hive scored !

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Why did the lady go out doors with her purse open? Because she expected some change in the weather.

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Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I ordered? Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

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What did the tooth say to the dentist? "Fill 'er up!"

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What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? -Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordinary breeze

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What type of wind is named after a young deer? Foehn

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Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

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Customer: Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials? Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.

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Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

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Hello, police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away! Sorry, this isn't the police station. It's the Delicatessen. Oh. Well, in that case, please send over a pastrami sandwich!

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Q: Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine? A: It depends on the age.

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What is a vampire's favorite sport? Batminton.

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Sir you haven't touched your custard. I'm just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline !

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A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young couple, petrified by lava, had been discovered. They had died in the act of making love. "How awful !" exclaimed the wife. "Si, but what a great way to spend eternity." added the husband.

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What are the hottest days during summer? Sun-days

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Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said, "Drac, we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?" "Yes," replied Dracula, "have lots of giraffes."

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Which vampire tried to eat James Bond? Ghouldfinger.

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Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank

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