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Sport jokes

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply
?
Paul gas coin !

 

Waiter: I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Your soup will be ready soon. Customer: What bait are you using?

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Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear ? Because he liked sole music !

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Why did the man put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work overtime.

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An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!" The American, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!" The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!" The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!" The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor. Sometimes the bull wins."

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How do rain drops marry? -They coalesce

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Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink!

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YO MAMAS SO FAT WHEN SHE WEARS A RED DRESS ALL THE KIDS SCREAM LOOK ITS THE KOOLAID MAN y

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What comes out at night and goes Munch, munch, ouch! A vampire with a rotten tooth.

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What is a bear's favourite drink ? Koka-Koala !

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Why did the tornado get arrested? -For speeding, theft, vandalism, assault and murder

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Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

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Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make. Waiter: They are. She couldn't cook either.

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Why wouldn't the vampire eat his soup? It clotted.

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Customer: This fish isn't as good as what I ordered here last month. Waiter: That's funny. It's from the same fish.

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What do you call a witch who climbs up walls? Ivy.

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Where is a tornado put in jail to be punished? -In a high pressure cell

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"Waiter, waiter,there's a hand in my soup." "That's not your soup, sir, that's your finger bowl."

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CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig shake? WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.

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What does a witch do if her broom is stolen ? She calls the flying squad !

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Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches.

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