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Sport jokes

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply
?
Paul gas coin !

 

Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!

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Yo mama so ugly she got beat up by her imaginary friends

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Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.

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Can you spell eighty in two letters? A-T.

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Can you spell a composition with two letters? SA (essay).

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Harry was madly in love with Betty, but couldn't pluck up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone. 'Darling!' he blurted out, 'will you marry me?' 'Of course, I will, you silly boy,' she replied, 'who is it speaking?'

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Diner: Waiter, please close the window. Waiter: Why, is there a draft? Diner: Yes, it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

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Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"

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Who was that on the phone, Fred? Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia, so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !

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When doesn't a telephone work underwater? When it's wringing wet!

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Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said, "Drac, we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?" "Yes," replied Dracula, "have lots of giraffes."

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Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet ? It lives on ice !

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What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese.

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Hello, police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away! Sorry, this isn't the police station. It's the Delicatessen. Oh. Well, in that case, please send over a pastrami sandwich!

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What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail? I don't know but it would slow him down.

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Waiter, there is a cockroach on my steak ! They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir !

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Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed? To feed her nightmare.

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How is snow white? -Pretty good, according to the 7 dwarfs

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Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.

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Who went into a witche's den and came out alive ? The witch !

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