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Sport jokes

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply
?
Paul gas coin !

 

Who invented the telephone? The Phoenicians (phone-itions).

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What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house ? The Lizard of Oz !

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What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.

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A pair of tourists were out in the fields when they discovered an abandoned well near an old farm house. Of course they're curious so they drop a small stone into the well, but they never hear it hit bottom. They search and find a larger rock and drop it into the well but once again hear nothing. They decide they need something larger and search the farm yard for a larger object. After much struggle, they manage to drag a large railroad tie to the edge of the well and drop it over the edge. After several seconds, a goat tears across the yard and without any hesitation, dives head first into the open hole. The two tourists stand in amazement. About then a farmer appears and tells them he is looking for a lost goat. The tourists tell the farmer about the goat diving into the well. "That couldn't be my goat", the farmer replies, "My goat was grazing in the field roped to a railroa d tie!"

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Yo mama's so stupid she can't pass a blood test.

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Yo Mama is so fat, she had to be baptized at Sea world. (Lionheartyz)

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Who went into a witche's den and came out alive ? The witch !

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Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.

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CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.

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1st Witch: What's your new boyfriend like ? 2nd Witch: He's mean, nasty, ugly, smelly and totally evil - but he has some bad points too !

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Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

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Do you know how to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!

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How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink!

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What stories are told by basketball players ? Tall stories !

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How can you tell if a bee is on the phone? You get a buzzy signal.

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Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: A Cancerian would worry herself to death with the problem.

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Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

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What is a vampire's favorite sport? Batminton.

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What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.

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Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

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