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Sport jokes

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply
?
Paul gas coin !

 

What does a footballer and a magician have in common ? Both do hat tricks !

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What did the answering machine say to the telephone? Take my word for it.

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What people travel the most? Romans.

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yo mama's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas.

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Who was that on the phone, Fred? Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia, so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've been bitten by a vampire. Drink this glass of water. Will it make me better? No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

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Why does frost not like to lay out in the sun? -It burns too easily

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Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

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What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ? After a week he was spotless !

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First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.

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What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.

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Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for years. Diner: Well, bring me some you haven't had around for that long.

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What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other? Isaiah!

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Why did the alien phone home on his mobile? Because it was so ET !

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Witch: Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister ? Wizard: Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards ? Witch: No I wouldn't. Wizard: No, well nor will she.

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Yo mama so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

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I say waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Well throw him a doughnut - they make fantastic life belts!

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Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

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Your Momma's so black she got counted absent at night school.

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What do you think of Dracula films? Fangtastic!

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