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Sport jokes

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply
?
Paul gas coin !

 

Why did the man put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work overtime.

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Tourist: The flies are awfully thick around here. Don't you ever shoo them? Native: No, we just let them go barefoot.

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What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head ? A tiger moth !

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Waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Sorry sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.

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Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells.

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Why does frost not like to lay out in the sun? -It burns too easily

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How does a male lightning bolt feel when he notices an attractive female lightning bolt? Thunderstruck

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What gas do snails prefer? Shell.

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How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.

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Boy: Do you have fever? Girl: No, why? Boy: Cause you look hot!!!!!

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Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

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Witch: Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister ? Wizard: Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards ? Witch: No I wouldn't. Wizard: No, well nor will she.

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A group of Texas A&M Aggies and a group of Harvard students had been deadlocked in a spelling bee for an entire week. At the end of the contest the score was tied and the judges had a dilemma. They told the contestants that each group was to quickly come up with a poem using the word 'Timbuktu.' Well the Aggiess started laughing the minute the word was uttered but Harvard just smiled and prepared their short rhyme. One Harvard student stood up and for his group recited 'Through the desert all night we ride on camels walking two by two, Destination Timbuktu.' Well the crowd politely applauded - they knew the Aggies couldnt beat that and the Aggies just continued laughing throughout the whole process. One Aggie stopped giggling long enough to stand and read the team's effort. He said, 'Tim and I, a hunting went, we came upon three women in a tent. Since they were three and we were two, I buk one and Timbuktu!'

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What comes out at night and goes Munch, munch, ouch! A vampire with a rotten tooth.

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Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

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What lights up a football stadium ? A football match !

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What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano? He said, "Darling, you've got lovely teeth."

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What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot? A bite in shining armor.

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Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make. Waiter: They are. She couldn't cook either.

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Yo mama teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!

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