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Waiter jokes

Customer: This fish
isn't as good as what
I ordered here last month.
Waiter: That's funny. It's from the
same fish.

 

Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.

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Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

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Yo mama's so fat, when she was in school she sat next to everybody!

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Patron: This bread is stale. Waiter: It wasn't last week.

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Why won't a witch wear a flat cap? Because there's no point in it.

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Yo mama's house is so small you have to go outside to change your mind.

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Customer: Waiter, look at this chicken! It's nothing but skin and bones. Waiter: Would you like the feathers, too?

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Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

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Patron: Didn't you tell me the chef here cooked for the late heads of Europe? Waiter: Yes, and that's why they are the late heads of Europe.

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Yo mama so fat when God said, "Let there be light" he he to ask her to move out of the way.

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Waiter, what's this bug doing waltzing around my table ! It's the band, sir, they are playing his tune !

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Yo mama's so stupid that she burned down the house with a CD burner.

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Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.

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Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts.

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Yo Momma is so ugly that she scares blind people!!!!

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Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

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Starting his new job at the zoo, the eager young zoo keeper asked the Head keeper what he should do for his first task. "Go and clean out the aquarium" he was told. Arriving at the aquarium, he discovered that all the fish were dead. He rushed back to the head keeper and asked what he should do. "Throw them to the lions" said the head keeper, "the lions will eat anything". So the young keeper returned to the aquarium, picked up all the dead fish and threw them into the lion's cage. That done, he returned and asked what he should do now. He was instructed to go and clean out the ape house. Off he went and started cleaning. He was shocked to discover dead chimpanzees in the cage, and rushed back for instructions. "Dont worry" said the head keeper, "just throw them to the lions, the lions will eat anything". So the young man returns to the ape house and throws the dead animals into the lions cage. Returning again for instructions, he is told to go along and help clean up the insect house. Busy cleaning out one off the exotic hives, he notices that all the bees have died. "I know what to do", he thinks to himself "I'll throw them all to the lions, as the lions will eat anything", whereupon he brushes them all up and throws them into the lion cage. The next day, the zoo obtains a new lioness. The lioness is walking around the new cage for the first time, and starts asking the other lions what things are like here. "Hows the accommodation?", she asks. "Fine" comes the reply from one lion. "And whats the food like?" she asks. "Not bad" replies another, "yesterday, we had fish, chimps and mushy bees".

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Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? A: So who wants to know? Why do *you* want to know? Are you a cop?

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Yo mama is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!!

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Yo Mama's so stupid,she got locked in a "Furniture World" and slept on the floor.

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