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Waiter jokes

Customer: This fish
isn't as good as what
I ordered here last month.
Waiter: That's funny. It's from the
same fish.

 

Yo mama so ugly she got beat up by her imaginary friends

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Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.

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Diner: Waiter, please close the window. Waiter: Why, is there a draft? Diner: Yes, it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

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Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said, "Drac, we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?" "Yes," replied Dracula, "have lots of giraffes."

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Waiter, there is a cockroach on my steak ! They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir !

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Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed? To feed her nightmare.

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How is snow white? -Pretty good, according to the 7 dwarfs

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Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.

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Who went into a witche's den and came out alive ? The witch !

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Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.

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Waiter: Why didn't you make all the food on that long order? Cook: Because I'm a short order cook.

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How does a male lightning bolt feel when he notices an attractive female lightning bolt? Thunderstruck

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your mama so fat she was going to walmart tripped over kmart and landed right on target!!!

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Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A whole bunch: I can only keep them in the room long enough for them to give the bulb a quarter turn apiece.

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Yo mama is so fat...that when she wore a blue and green sweater,everyone thought she was Planet Earth

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A weather intern walks into a bar and asks for a Cold Draft. Suddenly the bar door swings open and gusty cool air fills up the bar. After drinking his Draft things seem to get back to normal. The guy then orders a Thunderclap on ice. Suddenly the roof gets pelted with hail stones and an intense lightning flash and thunderous explosion rock the bar. After drinking his Thunderclap things seem to once again get back to normal. Feeling rather good at this point he asks for a third drink- ordering a Tornado on the rocks. This time the bar is not only pelted with even larger hail stones but ferocious winds rip the door off its hinges, shake the bar violently and break every window. Feeling extra good and cocky at this point he then orders an extra large and extra strong Hurricane. The bartender after this request looks up at the guy perplexed and says, "Sorry fella, we have no Hurricanes in Kansas".

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Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells.

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What happens if you see twin witches? You won't be able to tell witch witch is witch.

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Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

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Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago

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