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Waiter jokes

Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I
ordered?
Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

 

Waiter: I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Your soup will be ready soon. Customer: What bait are you using?

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How do rain drops marry? -They coalesce

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YO MAMAS SO FAT WHEN SHE WEARS A RED DRESS ALL THE KIDS SCREAM LOOK ITS THE KOOLAID MAN y

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Why did the tornado get arrested? -For speeding, theft, vandalism, assault and murder

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Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

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What do you call a witch who climbs up walls? Ivy.

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Where is a tornado put in jail to be punished? -In a high pressure cell

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CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig shake? WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.

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What does a witch do if her broom is stolen ? She calls the flying squad !

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Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches.

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Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

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Yo Mama's so fat that while she's sits on the beach, the lifeguard comes up to her to say, "Excuse me mame, but the tide wants to come in."

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CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.

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Yo Mamas teeth are so yellow I can't believe it's not butter.

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YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET

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How does a witch make scrambled eggs ? She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright ! 'Owl be seeing you later.'

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A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. "Now what should I do?" His mother has an idea. "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. " I was humiliated," he groaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes." " What's wrong with that?" asked his mother. " We hadn't started eating yet."

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Q: How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Well gee, I don't know really. I guess it depends on the bulb and where it burned out. It might perhaps take just one if it's just an ordinary bulb, but maybe two if the person doesn't know where to find a new light bulb, or perhaps ...

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Yo Momma so black when she goes swimming poeple thinks shes and oil spill.

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Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: A Leo would order somebody else to change it.

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