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Waiter jokes

Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I
ordered?
Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

 

Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

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Yo mama teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!

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Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

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Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

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First witch: My, hasn't your little girl grown ? Second witch: Yes, she's certainly gruesome.

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A tornado walks into a bar and orders a Hurricane. The bartender asks why he is ordering a Hurricane when he is a tornado. The tornado responds with, "I am a hurricane induced tornado".

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It was so hot today I saw a robin picking earthworms out of the ground with a pair of tongs.

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What do you call a witch who climbs up walls? Ivy.

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Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

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What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day? A wet one.

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Why can't meteorologists forecast the weather? -They are too busy studying comets and meteors

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Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio? The nearest ISOBAR!!

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Q:What did the tornado say to the car? A:('You wanna go for a spin?')

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Q: What kind of witch goes to the beach? A: Sandwitch

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An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

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Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

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What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses? Nothing, he didn't recognize them!

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Zoo visitor: What's the new baby hippo's name? Hippopotamus keeper: I don't know, he won't tell me.

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What cloud is so lazy because it will not get up? -Fog

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yo mama so stupid she worked at an m&m factory and threw out all the W's.

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