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Waiter jokes

Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I
ordered?
Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

 

What do lightning bolts do when they laugh? -They crack up

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Q. What's the difference between 'weather' and 'climate'? A. You can 't 'weather' a tree, but you can 'climate'!

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"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Fred looking out of the kitchen window. "I know," said his mother. "I've just stepped in a poodle!"

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What do you call a witch with one leg? Eileen.

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yo mama is so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans am i wearing i said Guess and she said Levis.

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Yo momma so bald head she put a weave cap on and it weave her cull

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Waiter, there is a bee in my alphabet soup ! Yes sir, and I'm sure there is an A, C and all the other letters too !

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yo mama so fat that when she puts on her yellow rain coat and walks down the street people shout out cab!

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Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb.

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A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her, and she gets mad, and he says, "Now what are you mad about?" says, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."

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Q: How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, but just *try* to convince them that the burnt out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

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How does a witch make scrambled eggs ? She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright ! 'Owl be seeing you later.'

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Why did the women cross the road? Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!

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You don't see many reindeer in zoos, do you? No. They can't afford the admission.

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How do you get milk from a witch's cat? Steal her saucer.

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Witch: Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister ? Wizard: Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards ? Witch: No I wouldn't. Wizard: No, well nor will she.

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Why was the student witch so bad at essays? Because she couldn't spell properly.

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What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? -Hurricanes with cataracts

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What are the hottest days during summer? Sun-days

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Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out light bulb?

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