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Waiter jokes

Waiter: I'm sorry
I spilled a glass of
water on you.
Diner: That's all right. My suit is too large anyway.

 

What type of music do lightning bolts listen to? -Rock and Roll

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CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.

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What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch? A witch in soggy trainers.

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Yo mama is so fat...that she makes Godzilla look like an action figure

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yo mama's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas.

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Why does frost not like to lay out in the sun? -It burns too easily

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Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

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Witch: Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister ? Wizard: Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards ? Witch: No I wouldn't. Wizard: No, well nor will she.

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Yo mama so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

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Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

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Your Momma's so black she got counted absent at night school.

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Yo Mama so fat she gives herself group hugs!

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Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life

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Yo Mama so fat, she's gotta wake up in sections

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Should I have a baby after 35? No, 35 children is enough.

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Yo Mamas teeth are so yellow I can't believe it's not butter.

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What does a witch do if her broom is stolen ? She calls the flying squad !

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What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? -Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordinary breeze

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What do you call a witch that stays out all night? A fresh air freak.

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yo mama so fat when she get on da elevator it says next stop hell

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