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Waiter jokes

Waiter: I'm sorry
I spilled a glass of
water on you.
Diner: That's all right. My suit is too large anyway.

 

Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells.

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Why does frost not like to lay out in the sun? -It burns too easily

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How does a male lightning bolt feel when he notices an attractive female lightning bolt? Thunderstruck

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Boy: Do you have fever? Girl: No, why? Boy: Cause you look hot!!!!!

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Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

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Witch: Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister ? Wizard: Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards ? Witch: No I wouldn't. Wizard: No, well nor will she.

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Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

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Yo mama teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!

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Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

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Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

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First witch: My, hasn't your little girl grown ? Second witch: Yes, she's certainly gruesome.

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A tornado walks into a bar and orders a Hurricane. The bartender asks why he is ordering a Hurricane when he is a tornado. The tornado responds with, "I am a hurricane induced tornado".

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It was so hot today I saw a robin picking earthworms out of the ground with a pair of tongs.

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What do you call a witch who climbs up walls? Ivy.

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Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

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What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day? A wet one.

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Why can't meteorologists forecast the weather? -They are too busy studying comets and meteors

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Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio? The nearest ISOBAR!!

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Q:What did the tornado say to the car? A:('You wanna go for a spin?')

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Q: What kind of witch goes to the beach? A: Sandwitch

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