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Waiter jokes

Waiter: I'm sorry
I spilled a glass of
water on you.
Diner: That's all right. My suit is too large anyway.

 

What cloud is so lazy because it will not get up? -Fog

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yo mama so stupid she worked at an m&m factory and threw out all the W's.

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Waiter: Why didn't you make all the food on that long order? Cook: Because I'm a short order cook.

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A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. "Now what should I do?" His mother has an idea. "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. " I was humiliated," he groaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes." " What's wrong with that?" asked his mother. " We hadn't started eating yet."

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Yo mama is so hairy, that Bigfoot tried to take her picture!

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Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

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Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Waiter, what is this creepy-crawly doing in my salad? Not him again, he's in here every night !

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Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one, and they'll use a non-disposable diaper too!

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Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs. They're too busy changing them for everyone else.

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Q: How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Er, two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts, make that two. Is that okay with you?

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Fred's class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. "Did you enjoy yourself?" asked her mother when she got home. "Oh, yes," replied Fred. "But it was funny going to a dead zoo."

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Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.

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Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

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What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses? Nothing, he didn't recognize them!

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yo mama's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas.

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CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig cooler? WAITER: Sure, spray him with a hose.

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What do lightning bolts do when they laugh? -They crack up

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Q. What's the difference between 'weather' and 'climate'? A. You can 't 'weather' a tree, but you can 'climate'!

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"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Fred looking out of the kitchen window. "I know," said his mother. "I've just stepped in a poodle!"

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