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Waiter jokes

Waiter: I'm sorry
I spilled a glass of
water on you.
Diner: That's all right. My suit is too large anyway.

 

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by up to 90%. - It's called wedding cake.

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Yo mama head so big it shows up on radar.

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Nate: "Hey, what's the weather like out there?" Kate: "I don't know. I'll tell you when it clears."

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Waiter, there is a bee in my alphabet soup ! Yes sir, and I'm sure there is an A, C and all the other letters too !

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Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Look, ask me when I get back from India, okay?

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Yo moma is so old she knew the Great Wall of China when it was just ok

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Yo mama so fat she wears a vcr as a beeper.

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Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

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Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

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Waiter, Waiter there's a fly in my ice-cream ! Gee I did not know that they had started winter sports so early in the year !

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Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup ! No its not, it's a piece of dirt that looks like one !

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Waiter, there is a maggot in my soup ! Don't worry sir, he won't last long in there !

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Waiter, there is a fly in my bean soup ! Don't worry sir I'll fish him out and exchange it for a bean !

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Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

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Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches.

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Yo Mama's so fat she sank the Titanic!

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Yo mamma is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping from the basement window.

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Did you hear about the witch who went in for the lovely legs competition? She was beaten by the microphone stand.

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Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.

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Waiter, there is a frog in my soup ! Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him !

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