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Waiter jokes

Waiter: I'm sorry
I spilled a glass of
water on you.
Diner: That's all right. My suit is too large anyway.

 

yo mama so nasty... cows with mad cow disease run from her..

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Yo Mama so fat she gives herself group hugs!

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What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? -Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordinary breeze

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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months! - I don't like to interrupt her.

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Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

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What do you call a witch with one leg? Eileen.

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Waiter, there is a bee in my alphabet soup ! Yes sir, and I'm sure there is an A, C and all the other letters too !

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A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her, and she gets mad, and he says, "Now what are you mad about?" says, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."

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What's the favorite subject of young witches at school? Spelling.

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A city boy was on his first camping trip. He was eating his lunch under a tree when an old-timer came along. 'It smells like rain,' he said to the boy. The city boy replied, 'They said it was lemonade.'

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Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.

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Waiter, there is a fly in my wine ! Well you did ask for something with a little body in it!

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"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Fred looking out of the kitchen window. "I know," said his mother. "I've just stepped in a poodle!"

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Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

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Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

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Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed? To feed her nightmare.

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Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

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Zoo visitor: What's the new baby hippo's name? Hippopotamus keeper: I don't know, he won't tell me.

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Is it good to drink witch's brew? Yes, it's very newt tricious!

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Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

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